Sunday, March 23, 2008

Cultural Agenda II

This whole Beirut Spring Business, or Culture, is now starting to captivate me. I'll assume the use of "Beirut" is just synecdochical, and what is really meant is the whole of Lebanon. But the same does not apply to "Spring", Spring is just Spring without the rest of the seasons. It fits in with a Future without a past, and Love and Life in an eternal Hallmark moment.

I must admit it is a very attractive "culture" for consumers. It's actually heavenly. Except you don't have to die to go there. It's right here on Earth; in Beirut specifically. Spring is beautiful, unlike the harsh winter, the long hot sweaty summer days, and not to mention Autumn which is synonymous with the end of life. Of course, a culture of no worries and no responisibilities naturally would have no accountability. The consumer is buying this culture as is. Anything un-springy one might encounter is just foreign. Alien obstacles are maliciously placed solely to ruin this midspring night's dream.

Things might be looking gloomy, but the guardians of culture keep huffing and puffing into a huge heartshaped balloon. I admire that, but we all now what happens to an overinflated balloon. That's a whole lot of bad breath.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Redefining Absurdity

First of all, a message to the readers. I know I've been away for a while, but Please, please, please I urge you, nah, I beg you not to fire any weapons in the air when you're done reading this. The culture of propaganda is all about firing up lies, not live bullets. But if you must, go for the M-16. With the US Dollar in its current state, it has become cheaper to waste American bullets than Russian ones.

Now Carlozinho might not have fully grasped what people saw. So I'll put it in terms he should understand. Dude, you looked far more ridiculous than Tante Imm Micho doing the Lambada. I do still find him cute and adorable, but Elie Beik Skaff will always be number one in my heart.

Pissful Coexistence

There are many angles in Lebanon where you can take a picture and capture a church and a mosque in the same frame. Oh, the beauty of peaceful coexistence. Well, that isn't entirely accurate. If you look closer, you'd notice that the newer shrine is on average three times the size of the older house of worship. This phenomenon can be attributed to the fact that this beautiful picture was actually the result of a pissing match between the coexisting village people.

The Story of Ayyoub

In Lebanon we have a political opposition. It's there, it's really there. Don't be fooled by the lack of vital signs. No Breathing, no pulse, that's all an illusion. It is not dead. You see, the opposition happens to be of the patient variety. Patience as you know is a virtue.
I guess it would take a patience virtuoso to understand. That's Ayyoub.

Cultural Agenda

Friday, 7:30 pm, Waving Flag Caravan Concerto Around the Block
Saturday, 10:00 am, Bread and Rice Bribe-A-Thon, Diwaniyyet Al Aish al Mushtarak, Istiqlal street
Saturday, 10:00 pm, Traditional Zajal by Zaghloul Abou Faour and the BIEL troupe, La Hoya Suites, Manara
Sunday, 10:00 am, "Now you have One Man, Now you see 50", Magic show, Liberated Section of Martyr Square
Sunday, Tea Time, Fibs and Tales of the Truth , Taditional Storytelling by Grand Hakawati Ahmad Fatfat, Grand Serail
Mon-Sun, 12:55pm, "In the Third Year, He Rose Again", Recitale by the Sea