Jamal's Propaganda

Akhbaring

2012-01-26T23:23:00.001+02:00

After a few months of cutting a's and the's to make sure I please the twitter gods, I find out there are platforms where you can fit thousands of words... Here's a 3 part series on the so called economy of the so called lebanon. Part I http://english.al-akhbar.com/content/lebanon-inc-i-mergers-and-acquisitions Part II http://english.al-akhbar.com/content/lebanon-inc-ii-hostile-takeover

Well, maybe if you ask nicely...

2011-08-19T10:14:00.002+03:00

Would it kill you to throw a "please" in there?

Warning: Angry and pointless anti-revolutionary rant

2011-08-18T18:16:00.000+03:00

I'm angry... That's why I've been quiet for a while... I just didn't want to share angry thoughts. Not in critical times like these. Then again in times like these noise takes over and I'm in no mood to whisper over the shouting. So I thought I'd give my self and my thoughts time to thaw. I thought I thaw... a pussy cat. Sorry, I had to do it..... Anyway this is supposed to be a serious angry

Regressing into the Future

2011-06-01T10:56:00.002+03:00

I had a chance yesterday to take a look at Lebanon in 1980 through the lens of Maroun Baghdadi. The film is called Hamasat, or Whispers, and it captures the zeitgeist of that era. This film along with the rest of Baghdadi's films will be released by Nadi Likul El Nas later this year for those who are interested. One could go at length about the work this private initiative is going through to

On the 25th of this year...

2011-05-25T11:07:00.002+03:00

This memory is supposed to be joyful... Land and people liberated from brutal Israeli occupation is definitely worth remembering as it is no small feat, specially as it is an unfinished job... A step towards the end of an apartheid state that has plagued the region for decades. What changed this year is that the question of the chicken or the egg arose. Along with the Israel came a crop of

Labor Unions are big business

2011-04-17T12:58:00.000+03:00

Last week, the elections of Lebanon's Order of Engineers took place. You know the people with that black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow sticker on their car. It was pretty clear why the Hariri's future movement would invest a lot of resources in making sure this labor union answers to them. After all, Hariri is one of the biggest investors in the real estate sector in Lebanon and

Syrian Dictatorship, Beginning of the End

2011-04-01T11:17:00.001+03:00

Last week, I micro-expressed my disappointment (on that micro-blogging twitter thingie) in Al Akhbar for carrying news of Syria's protests off their "Arab Dictatorships, Beginning of the End" pages. Al Akhbar did eventually move Syria's news to join the news out of Libya, Bahrain, and Yemen for a few days before the editorial team decided to give Syria it's own title-less coverage section. Now

There is a chance....

2011-03-09T15:24:00.001+02:00

Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances? Mary: Not good. Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred? Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million. [pause] Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance... *YEAH!* That's of course from the Farrelly brothers' classic "Dumb and

Sanayeh live

2011-03-04T21:16:00.000+02:00

Modest start, but who knows... more the topic in the upcoming days...

A revolution for each taste

2011-03-03T00:41:00.001+02:00

People in media are quick to draw parallels between things that are happening at any given time. You see, most of the time they are strapped for time and want to simplify their work by copy-pasting stories together. The reality though is that Arab dictators aren't a product of a cookie cutter. They're more like pop corn. So let's look at them country by country. Tunisia: Laila Traboulsi was a

Friends or Foes?

2011-02-27T16:57:00.000+02:00

I'm still having a hard time that anyone close to Hariri would sign off on this billboard design. The way I see it; surrounding a dead man's picture with flames and an "Allahu Akbar" isn't exactly an expression of love. Then again, maybe it's just me. Who else would associate flames with hell and the "Allahu Akbar"chant with divine justice? One thing is obvious. Elie Khoury and Saatchi don't

Joseph Smaha, 4 years later

2011-02-24T12:23:00.000+02:00

(This tribute was originally published on this blog on February 26th, 2007.)Today We Must Think a Little HarderLife Goes On, but it must not go on dumber, less informed, mentally poorer. We were privileged to have our collective minds enriched on a daily basis by a ten minute read each morning that encapsuled decades of knowledge, a philosophical library, and a strategic eye that saw beyond all

Another Siniora achievement

2011-02-22T16:01:00.001+02:00

A dozen decades-young trees chopped down to make room for a few extra meters of luxury treeless housing in Beirut. (Brought to you by Fouad Siniora, the developer)

To Egypt....

2011-02-16T11:59:00.003+02:00

I've been to Egypt twice. Each time I took notes so I could blog about the trips but never got to it. Now I kinda have to do it... My last trip to Cairo was just last October. To get there I had to go through Rafiq Hariri airport in Beirut. Why should I start there? Well, it's because of this idiot who was sitting behind me at airport cafeteria. I was sipping an overpriced Almaza when I hear

To Bouazizi

2011-01-27T10:50:00.000+02:00

3 Months ago I wrote this blurb about Fayrouz and Ziad's latest CD and the concept of Hope. I stated my preference for Hope that rises from hopelessness rather than the false hope that often dominates. Little did I know that a street vendor from Sidibouzid, a town I had never heard of in Tunisia, will personify that Hope that I was imagining. I imagined it powerful, but never in my most hopeful

The more the leaks, the more it reeks

2010-12-08T12:06:00.001+02:00

See I'm all for fair play and sportsmanship and all that crap, but hypothetically if I were to cheat to win a football game here' s how I would do it. First of all I would convince some idiots to sponsor my team with billions of dollars. See I need all the help I can get because I do not belong on a football field. My athletic abilities are more apt for Mahjong than they are for football, and

An embarrassment to Propaganda

2010-12-05T10:55:00.000+02:00

There's no denying that I am a fan of the art of Propaganda. This is probably why I feel that bad propaganda insults me on a personal level. Specially when you have all the available resources to produce kick-ass propaganda yet lay an egg. Exhibit A is the constant dose of Franklin Lamb used by the Hezbollah propaganda machine to show that they have "western" backing. Way to cheapen a "holy"

Daddy's Boy

2010-11-12T12:21:00.000+02:00

It doesn't seem that there's a record of me writing about this lecture, but in my mind I was convinced I did. In any case... It was the first day of the World Cup this past summer, the world was still trying to figure out what that noise coming out from the TV was, and 3 million tourists were conspiring against Fadi Abboud by booking trips to Lebanon only to cancel in the very last minute.

Don't Worry, be Crappy

2010-11-09T14:57:00.001+02:00

I am not worried that we're on the eve of the long promised Armageddon-esque national unity cabinet meeting; it's probably over-hyped. I'm not worried about the speeding traps around our highways; au contraire I really hope they outlast the short lived red light cameras experiment. I'm not worried about the sweeping republican victory in the U.S. mid-term elections and what that might bring our

Se le gazon total

2010-11-04T12:49:00.000+02:00

I'm all for more green spaces in the city, even if the "sodwalk" is the way to do it... I guess it's time to hang up the mocassins and dust off the long retired cleats.

Intolerant bigots, but honest

2010-10-21T19:02:00.000+03:00

Age between 30 and 39 - Check Lives in Beirut - Check Lebanese - Check Speaks English - Check Driver's License - Check Maronite - Damn it!! ... So close Here's the listing on eWaseet.

Eih fi Amal

2010-10-07T12:25:00.002+03:00

The Fayrouz CD is finally out, it's probably the final one in her long career. The title of the CD translates to "Yes, There is hope"... well that's not exactly accurate. The "Yes" used is Lebanese slang for "Yes" that could mean different things depending on the tone in which it's used. So the Album title, depending on how you read it, could be a definitive and hopeful "Yep, There is Hope" or a

The bottomless pit

2010-09-30T17:34:00.000+03:00

This country is redefining my understanding of what an abyss might look like. Just when you think that the political rhetoric on television, for example, has hit rock bottom, a new generation of pundits takes to the airwaves to drop the collective national IQ a notch lower. This national unity government can boast that they've doubled an already high road fatality rate. Suicide rates and abuse

A Bug's Life

2010-09-20T15:14:00.001+03:00

Aesop's tale about the ant and the grasshopper is a short, simple fable about conflicting personalities. Long story short, or in this case short story even shorter, one of them mocks the other for a period of time and then ends up out in the cold. Moral of the story: natural selection favors long term planning over flavor of the day. That doesn't make the ant a better insect or a role model. They

Li Fairouz

2010-09-18T11:26:00.000+03:00

avg. wait time: worth every minute of it

Censorship Schmucks

2010-09-17T11:06:00.001+03:00

Steve Carell probably had his funniest role since "Little Miss Sunshine", but the Lebanese state had to interfere in the enjoyment of the film. There were a couple of scenes that were obscenely cut from the movie which opened yesterday in Beirut. It turns out that depicting Jesus and his apostles as a dead rodents for a small paying audience is a threat to national security. This at the same time

Israel WAS here

2010-09-16T19:30:00.000+03:00

28 years ago, it's eviction started...

Do you believe in magic?

2010-09-06T15:20:00.005+03:00

Last week after the Burj Abi Haydar bash, it was reported that the warring allies found a man with 2 shoulders to cry on in Damascus. Then yesterday, as reported in Al Akhbar, the same man met with a head of one of the local quasi-spy agencies and with a snap of a finger calmed the tense political scene. This story can be corroborated by the sudden change in the SMS dispatches and a certain

Real bloggers

2010-09-05T18:35:00.004+03:00

It was always embarrassing to attend Arab bloggers' conferences as a "Lebanese" blogger. Everyone else had real battle scars. Until a recent hubbub by Michel Suleiman about the prestige of the "Lebanese" Presidency, authorities here had no ideas what blogs were. So we really had nothing to contribute to discussions of activists who really put their neck on the line facing Arab tyrants.Ali

Beirut: a Tree-free zone

2010-09-02T11:20:00.005+03:00

Does anyone remember the carnival-like atmosphere post-Doha where political rivals took to the streets of Beirut hand in hand to remove flags and posters that belonged to the various warring factions? Beirut was then declared a politics-free zone. It still is pretty much just that, except for all the Amal movement flags and Nabih Berri posters that replaced all the other colors. But hey...that's

Unpaid Ad

2010-09-02T09:10:00.003+03:00

"Yen'ad Aleik" is a genuine, energetic and fun performance at Beirut's cutest stage. It's a zeitgeisty love story about loving the little things and leaving little things.Ramadan spirit has other venues charging $30 bucks for you to hear washed up Electrolux Air Conditioners roar over attempts at music; meanwhile, for $10 bucks you can watch Yara Abou Haidar and Wahid Al Ajami sweat their butts

Miracle healing is one thing...

2010-08-27T10:04:00.003+03:00

... but Father Daniel taking a shit on medicine at the Doctors' syndicate is just too good to pass.Word on the street is that the opening act will be the extra borojo infomercial healer.I'm so gonna be there, I'm taking with me a neck pain and a truck-full of psychological issues.See you there.

Parking Ticket

2010-08-26T16:36:00.003+03:00

The latest episode in the ongoing Lebanese civil war, which despite the legend did not start in 1975 and did not magically end in 1990, was attributed to an argument over a parking space.A spokesperson for one for the parties involved called it an isolated incident over something silly. Well it is, but this country is "something silly" away from becoming just a silly footnote in history. The

In the Red

2010-08-23T18:47:00.003+03:00

"Fouad Siniora is a Red Line".-Saad Hariri this past weekendRafiq Hariri is also a Red Line. It's true he's been dead for over five years now but he has not ceased to be a red line and will continue to be one for the foreseeable future. That future is basically as long as the Special Tribunal for Lebanon keeps running its tab. Saad Hariri is a Red Line too. He doesn't want to brag about himself,

Month of Tolerance

2010-08-21T10:57:00.005+03:00

MTV Arabia, a joint venture between MTV and Sheikh Mo's Dubai Holding, decided to observe Ramadan by refraining from airing vulgar Music videos and sticking to its more wholesome reality shows. Daddy's Girls is one of these shows. During one of the episodes I overheard an obscene amount of script being bleeped out. So I inquired with a subject matter expert, my sister, about the Ramadan spirit on

Bull

2010-08-12T10:30:00.004+03:00

Yesterday, Minister of Defense Elias El-Murr had a press conference to address a very urgent issue. His performance was indirectly questioned in a newspaper article written by Hassan Olleik and published in Al Akhbar. While answering questions he mentioned the famous MIG 29s that the Russians allegedly gave as a gift to Lebanon and were supposed to be patrolling the skies by now. By El-Murr's

Are you an Israeli spy?

2010-08-05T16:07:00.002+03:00

People over here are overly nosey. Widespread plastic surgery facilities can only take care of the physical aspect of this trait. Therefore, curiosity continues to kill the... well you know who. Remember that barrage of questions that you answered this sweet looking old lady when you first moved into the neighborhood? Well your answers have become common knowledge in the neighborhood, because she

The Man, the half man, and the Two Dozen Man

2010-07-29T11:32:00.004+03:00

Security breaches at Beirut International Airport will not stop the influx of regional heads of royal courts. Latest reports say that they will be treated to lunch at some place in Baabda known for its hospitality towards money and power. However, the quality of the lunch experience can not be corroborated as the chef there is not too fond of critique. That's not all, if rumors are true

ِA Suicide Bombing Seminar?

2010-07-27T12:11:00.002+03:00

Lecture is titled: "Blast your energies in support of your religion"

كانت حكاية

2010-07-26T10:39:00.002+03:00

In a creative process, the creator often starts with a rough idea. That idea sounds good so it's put through the development process that may result in creative work, or as in most cases it ends up being junk. In this country, junk does not take the usual junk route but is rather piled on top of other junk in a very public display of, well, junk.Back to the creative process; one of the stages in

Nurturing Environment

2010-07-23T11:13:00.003+03:00

Hassan Nasrallah made a prime time TV appearance last night in what was dubbed "The Press Conference 22-7-2010".In order to rationalize their timid response (so far), Al Mustaqbal headlined that "Nasrallah toned down his speech." In the article they also insinuate that Nasrallah is jealous that Hariri and Damascus are all lovey dovey again. Back to The News Conference though, since I don't report

Tourist season (Pre-Israeli Apartheid)

2010-07-23T10:25:00.002+03:00

(Hat tip Hilal)

alfa.il

2010-07-22T14:46:00.002+03:00

So basically, Israel has been listening in on every phone call in Lebanon for the past 15 years and still had no clue what to hit during the 2006 war. Really though, who would want to listen in on Lebanese phone calls? The Israelis walked straight into a trap there. It is scientifically proven that listening in on a Lebanese phone conversations causes ear canal damage, nausea, and suicidal

Monkey see, Monkey do

2010-07-22T11:15:00.002+03:00

Gorillaz performed at a sold out concert at Byblos Festival last night. One might question why rock stars would forgo many of the rock star perks by hiding behind animated characters, but all in all I would say they're faring well. Gorillaz were also one of many artists to cancel shows in apartheid Israel. They did it in the wake of the flotilla massacre committed by the Israeli military. While

If you look closely...

2010-07-19T09:39:00.002+03:00

There used to be a dumpster on this street corner... It might be under the pile, but I'm positive it's no longer there.

Another attempt to get it up

2010-07-16T11:55:00.002+03:00

Now is a good time to resume posting in this blog. All indications are that something major is going to happen soon in the region and I don't want to jump back in the game without warming up first. As a matter of fact, at my age I'll be risking tearing or dislocating something if don't gradually ease back into action. Heck, I'm already out of breath since this is already twice or thrice as long

#flotilla

2010-06-04T09:40:00.007+03:00

يا اللّي مفكر إنّو الدنيا مسكرة بوجّك وقافلة عدوّك نــهـــزّ كيانو بشـويـّـة ناشـطين وقافلة فليـــش بـعــدك قاعــد، يــلّا قـــوم أوقاف ليهكـم هزّة عصا وبتشوفـوا كيف بيحـلّ عـن ربـّـنـا

يحدث الآن

2010-06-04T04:22:00.002+03:00

الرابعة فجراً في حي بيروتي "ذو طابع تراثي" الشرطي رقم 1:"رجاع رجاع الطريق مسكر، في حريق. دخلك معك شي طفايه بهل جيب تعيرنا اياها؟"الشرطي رقم 2:"دق للاطفائيه عل 120 مدري ال-125."الشرطي رقم 1:"ما معي يونيتس، دق إنت."الشرطي رقم 2:"ال-120 ما بدّا يونيتس يا حمار."

ألف مبطوحة

2010-06-03T10:31:00.004+03:00

حاولت إنقاذها، لكن وصلت متأخّراًولمّا حاولت أن أعطيها تنفّس إصطناعي، إتّهمت بقلّة الحياءفما العمل؟

و بيت ميجانا رد عإبن بيروت

2010-04-21T17:44:00.008+03:00

جبرانك كان باين إبن عالم مش بن زنىوعـودو بـأكـبـر مـوازيـن العالم بـِنـْـزِنـا إجا وزير بحكومة صار يحمي بـنـزيـنـاعـَونـو جـايي من الله بـس وين عونـِـنــا

بيت عتابا بالمناسبة

2010-04-21T16:02:00.005+03:00

كرمالنا وكرمال شـوفيرية السـرفيـس والتاكـسي بشغـلَــك وشـغلِــك بكرة لا تـتَّـكِّــس ولا تتَّـكْسـيغلا البنزين هـَـلــك جسمي وبطّـل معي تَأكسـيـهلإنّو لمّا يتّفقوا الزعما علينا بيشلحونا حتّى التياب

35 years later: The war is alive and kicking

2010-04-12T09:54:00.002+03:00

In commemoration of what most parties involved agreed to as being the day that start of the civil war, today's nationally unified politicians will stage a football game between teams made up of mostly out of shape middle aged men who also double as ministers, members of parliament, war criminals, money launderers, drug pushers, and your run of the mill attention whores. The teams will be dressed

حصل منذ لحظات

2010-03-18T09:49:00.003+02:00

المشهد - صباح يوم ممطر في شارع الحمراءسيدة مقعدة في كرسي متحرك: النويري؟سائق السرفيس: تاكسي...السيدة المقعدة: لا ليش تاكسي... سرفيس... بس عالنويري... السائق: شو بدّك إيّاني إنزل وشيل وعتــّلـّك هالكرسي ببلاش...السيدة: الله يسامحك....

More (or less) than a cool ass name

2010-03-16T10:58:00.005+02:00

Ok, I'll revive this blog for a shameless plug. Shankaboot is out. It is being billed as the first Arabic Web Drama. Although, personally I would've taken a different marketing approach. Being first gives you a carte blanche to claim all the superlatives so why stop at First? It's the Best damn Arabic Web drama out there.It's the most watched Arabic Web Drama out on the world wide web.It's the

A Beautiful Man

2010-01-18T20:47:00.005+02:00

Rupert Murdoch is a beautiful man in Assafir.Again since the link is broken , I'll go ahead and post the unedited article."رجلٌ جميلٌ"جمال غصن"للأسف، أعتقد أنه من المستحيل أن تسيطر على كل الإعلام. بالطبع، إلاّ إذا كنت روبرت موردوك . إنّه رجل جميل." الكلمات هذه لشخصية كرتونية في "السمبسونز" تتّصف بالعوارض النفسية التي تعرف مجتمعة بالثالوث القاتم وهي النرجسية والمكيافيلية والسيكوباتية أو

On MurrTV كلّو mexicain

2009-11-12T09:59:00.003+02:00

A couple of weeks ago Lebanese MTV aired a candid camera show on which yours truly was a victim of a silly prank. I was told that I looked very grumpy which probably was the case, not because I don't have a sense of humor about pranks, I'm just intolerant of unfunny. So I decided to take a look at this Murr TV thing and it didn't take long for me to find something to get back at them.... my

Hajj Ponzi does the Cabinet

2009-11-09T21:19:00.005+02:00

Elie Beik Skaff is gone.....but he will not be missed.Elie Beik's shoes are hard to fill, but when Saad Hariri and Hassan Nasrallah work hand in hand everything is possible. Ok...Ok, we're talking about Elie Beik here, so the effort wasn't just a national one. Replacing Elie Beik Skaff required the regional rapprochement between Syria and Saudi Arabia with the Nobel Peace prize winner giving

Synchronized Movements

2009-10-12T09:37:00.002+03:00

The Hariris never liked Michel Aoun, and the feeling is pretty much mutual.Back in Hariri the First days, the "Syrians" made sure the exiled General stayed as far away as possible from the grand reconstruction plan. Hariri the Second does not have the benefit if the "Syrians"...yet. So he has had to deal directly with Aoun. He's had to sit and hear the General's demands, but to date he has never

تعتب عمين؟

2009-09-11T10:19:00.003+03:00

بيكفي لف ودوران وتضييع ساعات وإيامرح يضلو يقولو تكلف سعد وقعد سعد وقامغير ما يروح عالشام ، ما في حكومة وئامفشرّف صوب الجماعة، تيسقوك كاسة جلاب

Ramadan Drama

2009-09-09T11:54:00.004+03:00

Following Ramadan TV dramas requires too much commitment. You have to reserve a certain hour of your evening for that specific purpose and you can't take any days off not even weekends until the end of the month. IF that's not feasible you have to look elsewhere for your Drama fix. The justice page in Al-Akhbar has been catering to those deprived of TV Ramadan dramas. Take the saga of Abboudi Al

Hajj Ponzi: Special Victims Unit

2009-09-02T11:31:00.002+03:00

One of the biggest civilian financial heists in the glorious history of Lebanon remains off the media and political radar except for a couple of blurbs in some papers praising the virtues of Salah Ezzeddine, the pious crook. That might have something to do with the fact that the powers behind the media outlets are themselves products of much larger Ponzi schemes albeit officially sanctioned and

Hajj Ponzi

2009-08-31T12:49:00.002+03:00

A major Ponzi scheme of Madoffesque proportions has come to light in Lebanon. The twist here is that the crook, "Hajj" Salah Ezzeddine, took cover under Hezbollah's popularity in South Lebanon and made off with $1.2 billion according to As-Safir. The man behind the 12 year old scheme also ran a publishing house that specialized in "resistance books" and a Hajj tour organizing agency. His PR

Who will carry the torch of Elie Beik?

2009-08-25T12:47:00.002+03:00

Ok, I can't burry my head in the Berdawni any longer. I have to admit that I might have been wrong when I said previously that the elections did not matter. My stuttering voice in parliament Elie Beik Skaff lost and I have to come to terms with that. Albeit Elie Beik will continue tirelessly to caretake the national agriculture while his replacement continues to be a figment of a constantly

The night Israel will never overcome...

2009-08-11T19:49:00.004+03:00

Avigdor Lieberman, racist extraordinaire, can yap all he wants about destroying Lebanon and exterminating Arabs, as he and his war criminal buddies in the Apartheid state of Israel poorly attempt to repaint history in a more favorable hue. Three years ago the Israeli air force went on a killing spree which they tried to mask as a military operation. But as the dust settled and investigations

From the soup nazi's old cabinet...

2009-07-31T14:52:00.003+03:00

Eastern Mediterranean national unity consommé (Serving size starves a country)One lard-load of lardTwo Dozen clamshells One whole token chickOne full dose of nepotismTwo sticks of saffronTwo tablespoons of date pasteA tinge of mastic A squeeze of A1 steak sauce Topped off with a swath of goateeWrap ingredients with exclusive newspaper cabinet roster scoops and drop in lard. Boil slowly over jet

From Lebanon 2009

2009-07-02T09:05:00.002+03:00

Stray BulletTo get lost in Beirut is not a difficult task. The streets do not fall on any numerical or logical grid o roads and avenues that can be easily tracked. As a matter of fact street names are often an issue of subjective interpretation for your Leon Street could be Emile Edde to me and Layyoon with a thick Beiruti accent for a third person who doesn't usually sport a thick Beiruti accent

Les Priorités

2009-07-01T08:45:00.003+03:00

Three ministers took time off from their busy tourist season schedule, after all one of these ministers promised the Lebanese 3 million visitors this summer, to address an issue that has thousands of citizens enraged n this country. The cancellation of a French comedian's performances in Beiteddine has ruffled some elite feathers, as it should for where will this country be without the freedom

معضلة الخرا/ الخرى

2009-05-16T14:06:00.003+03:00

أطلّ زياد الرحباني بعد طول غياب على الصفحة الأولى من جريدة الأخبار بمقالة عن خرا الكلاب الأرسطقراطية. و لزياد الكثير من المقلّدين على مدى مسيرته المهنية الموسيقية و النقدية. لكن غالبا ما يكون مستوى المستَزِِْيدين هابط إذ أن محاولة استنساخ اسلوب من دون أن يتمتع المستنسخ بما يطور به أو يزيد قيمة الاسلوب الاصلي ما هو إلاّ نموذج بسيط عن الرجعيّة في الفن. زياد نفسه اشتهر بتطوير أعمال غيره ببضع الكلمات

In defense of pigs

2009-04-27T10:08:00.003+03:00

Schweins are getting a bad rap. They are double victims here. Talk about lose-lose: they either die of disease or they get slaughtered into salchichas. The fact that a hundred humans have died in Mexico means the world needs to urgently gather some Tylenol Flu and send it over. But stop smearing pigs. What's even worse is some religious kooks in this region, muslims and jews, gloating about

"/"

2009-02-18T17:38:00.002+02:00

As tempting as it is to delve into the campaign platforms with which the political palette plans to undertake the next parliamentary, I will continue to pass on the subject. No economic policy, talk, job creation, rights, services... I will stick with my earlier assertion that these upcoming elections will have a negligible effect on the political fate of this country.Also as much fun as it

6 degrees of Myopia

2009-01-22T21:48:00.003+02:00

1. Hezbollah is allied with the Free Patriotic Movement2. FPM counts Gebran Bassil as a senior member3. Gebran Bassil is the minister of telecom in Lebanon's schizophrenic national unity government4. The ministry of telecom awarded a mobile network operation contract to Egyptian Orascom5. Orascom is majority owned by Naguib Sawiris6. Naguib Sawiris, through Orascom, is the biggest investor from

Return of the Savages-day 3

2008-12-29T11:16:00.002+02:00

Israel continues to bomb blindly further proving that having the latest murder technology is not enough to cover for military incompetence. A university campus, mosques, and a TV station were the latest targets. Palestinians will continue to learn, pray, and that station continues to broadcast. So the Israeli armed gangs continue to reap death and destruction, but zero military gains. The longer

Israel is no more

2008-12-27T18:55:00.004+02:00

Today Israel's heavily armed gang did what it does best...Killing for the sake of killing... Although Israel has since its conception been morally bankrupt today's massacre proves more and more that they are military bankrupt too. The 2006 defeat on the edges of Maroun El Ras and Bint Jbeil was the beginning of the end.Israel can pump all the American tax money available into that war machine,

بحبك يا لبنان

2008-09-16T16:15:00.002+03:00

The driver of this BMW I saw today clearly loves this country. He has dressed the 4 headrests in his car in red, white, and cedar. He also has Pierre Gemmayel's legacy, the "Love Lebanon? Love its products" bumper sticker, adorning his rear fender. He's so patriotic he might know the second , heck even the third verse of the Lebanese national anthem. Nothing however says "I love Lebanon" more

from the campaign trail

2008-09-16T16:06:00.002+03:00

Thirty some odd years ago, the war in Lebanon was between the arms that were a guarantee for the safety and defense of the Christian minority in the Middle East and those weapons that were slated to liberate Palestine. The funny thing today is the argument you hear that a certain arsenal in Lebanon serves as a protection and a guarantee for the minorities in the Middle East including Lebanon's

Rockn't the vote

2008-09-16T13:26:00.004+03:00

In this period between the olympics and the world cup, plenty of spectacles try to fill the void. It seems elections are en vogue this season. All the cool kids are doing it. There's the great U.S. of A. with its bipartisan bout. On the other hand, we have Iran with its bipolar act. Down south they are playing hot potato as no one wants to be the next Olmert. Then there's our show which some

O Canada!

2008-09-16T13:25:00.003+03:00

The mighty Zohans have foiled 5 kidnapping attempts of Izzies by Hezbollah in different parts of the world. Now I don't know if these claims have passed the snopes.com test, but I'll play along. So here we have the same intelligence apparatus that failed to sniff what goes on under its nose in Maroun El Ras going 5 for 5 in pulling needles out of haystacks around the globe; thus

A man of principle

2008-08-12T13:02:00.003+03:00

Hussein el-Husseini just resigned from that mockery of a parliament they run down in Solidere. His reason: it is unfair, preposterous, lewd, lascivious, and outrageous that after 2 years of getting paid for doing nothing, he actually has to show up for work now.

Submit to Webster's

2008-08-12T10:15:00.004+03:00

Metrosalafi (n, adj): a young, cool, suave, well off, Armani-dressed, well-trimmed, intolerant, Islamist, takfiri, and occasionally pious party animal; mostly spotted in multi-million dollar mansions in Beirut, Mediterranean isles, and on the Saudi Riviera. A Metrosalafi is often involved in politics, philanthropy, propaganda, business dealings, feudalism, funding of militants and scholars, and

The land of innocence

2008-07-29T16:20:00.003+03:00

So the barge owner on which over a thousand egyptians died was declared innocent by the court; it is not that he purposely pulled a drill out of his tool box and poked holes in the vessel. Accidents happen. Sure the decision was put on hold, but who are we kidding, he is a card holding member of the ruling party. In Lebanon, nearly a thousand people die every year in car accidents. It's not

It must be tourist season

2008-07-28T02:50:00.002+03:00

These days I get an average of 2 address inquiries every time I walk down the street. It does not even matter what time of day or night it is, lost souls are all over the place. I assume everyone gets these questions, because either that or I'm someone who looks like he nows where he stands. During tourist season, even cab drivers stray from their routes into unfamiliar and what is perceived as

From Lebanon on and off

2008-07-28T02:39:00.002+03:00

Getting stuck in the ascenseur Just when you think that you have mastered the game, that the rules no longer apply to you; a major coup swiftly puts you back in place. After four years of always escaping, of knowing exactly when to risk it and when to feign extra energy for five flights of stairs; one week got me twice. In both incidents the ever-present Natour was nowhere near his lair. In

From Lebanon neither 8 nor 14

2008-05-27T19:29:00.000+03:00

The order of engineers windshield stickerFirst of all, you would think that with the centuries spent cumulatively in various design classes the order would come up with a more aesthetically pleasing sticker. Well, any attempt to alter the logo in the current politically charged environment would undoubtedly lead to a color battle that would make a gay pride parade seem pale.The sticker is there

لا خاسر ولا مخسور

2008-05-24T10:39:00.004+03:00

I think it's time I lift my self imposed gag order. I'm a person who lives in a state of denial. I could not handle the Lebanese week of honesty. People expressing their feelings freely was long overdue in Lebanon, and what do you know; all it took was a few days of open hatred and then a la Emeril Lagasse ... Baam a group hug to heal all. Here's how Andre Breton defined Surrealism:Psychic

و بيتين عتابا للمناسبة

2008-05-01T09:13:00.004+03:00

سبع بورومبو معيّد بواحَد و مأضْرِب بسبعة مايوما في شغل، نازل عالبحر و معو لابسة سبعة مايواليوم يومو إن نصَبّ زيت عنارو أو تلج صَب عمايوغصب عن اللّي بالضاحية والرابية و قريطم و معرابشو عم بيصير هالإسبوع بين بيروت و محلّةهون حكومة ما بيرفّلها جفن و باقية بافية باقية محلاّو هونيك تلاتين سنة و إنّو تشبع سرقة و قمع ما حلاّإن لفظتو الجيم جيم أو الجيم جيم كلكن سوا بلإضرابللمزيد أنقر هنا

... and on May Day

2008-05-01T08:44:00.001+03:00

Nudity. I still have a clipping from an October 1993 Nouvel Observateur, an opinion poll: twelve hundred people describing themselves as on the left were sent a list of two hundred ten words and asked to underline the ones that fascinated them, that appealed to them, that they found attractive and congenial; a few years earlier, the same poll had been taken: back then, of the same two hundred ten

Valet Parking Part Deux

2008-04-20T14:33:00.001+03:00

I have touched on the subject previously, but this is one topic in Lebanon around which many dissertations could be done. One could study the Freudian interpretation of the glee derived from the key tossing experience; or the statistical correlation between the time it takes a poser to get out of his or her street blocking car and the number of angry eyeballs in the cars behind him or her.I don’t

Counting Intellectuals

2008-04-16T03:27:00.006+03:00

It's 4 am, and I can't sleep. An old trick that I know is to count sheep, but I've been living in a city for so long that I forgot what they look like. I do remember that they often come in herds and they make unintelligible noises.There are no sheep in Beirut but I have witnessed a group of people that made unintelligible noises recently. It was right here in Hamra at something called Homeworks.

Greek Orthodox: Pound for Pound

2008-04-11T00:55:00.002+03:00

No need to remind everyone that the office of President of the Republic is vacant. That counter is well into triple figures, but it is almost a 1000 days behind the mother of all counters.Earlier this week Siniora and Berri each kicked off a tour that'll take them to various stops where they can woo their fans, or was it fan their woes?In any case with the absence of the top 3 Politicians, Farid

Who's your daddy?

2008-04-08T21:16:00.000+03:00

I perfectly understand why a group of people chose to erect large posters of Abdallah Al Saud all over town. The "others" have posters of Khamenei up. So the only logical match would be the Servant King of Islam's Holiest places; a feat that certainly trumps Supreme leadership of a revolution in terms of Holy brownie points. What I don't get though is the timing. Why now? The only thing I could

Maronites: Pound for Pound

2008-04-03T00:12:00.003+03:00

The United States does it. So do Arab states; the moderately evil countries and the evilly moderate ones. I don't see why Lebanon should refrain from doing it, aren't we afterall the face of the Dakotas in the Middle East according to one Lebanese ultranationalist.I'm talking, of course, about putting presidential faces on currency. Spare me the talk that we shan't worship false idols because we

Cultural Agenda II

2008-03-23T03:33:00.001+02:00

This whole Beirut Spring Business, or Culture, is now starting to captivate me. I'll assume the use of "Beirut" is just synecdochical, and what is really meant is the whole of Lebanon. But the same does not apply to "Spring", Spring is just Spring without the rest of the seasons. It fits in with a Future without a past, and Love and Life in an eternal Hallmark moment.I must admit it is a very

Redefining Absurdity

2008-03-18T18:40:00.004+02:00

First of all, a message to the readers. I know I've been away for a while, but Please, please, please I urge you, nah, I beg you not to fire any weapons in the air when you're done reading this. The culture of propaganda is all about firing up lies, not live bullets. But if you must, go for the M-16. With the US Dollar in its current state, it has become cheaper to waste American bullets than

Libertad, Libertad!

2008-02-29T17:34:00.007+02:00

Overheard on April 14th, 1961 at Cafe Versailles, Eighth Street, Miami, FL-Oye Doña, un cortadito por favor. Make it special, it'll be my last one in this country.- What do you mean last one, Chico.-Listen Jacinto, we can't go wrong.-What if...- No what ifs, no nothing. We will go in through the Bay go straight up the hill. Once we're on the hilltop Fidel will have nowhere to go but to jump in

بالإذن من إبن عربي

2008-02-25T11:20:00.004+02:00

كل مبادرة شفيعها عمر موسى، لا يعوّل عليهاكل قمّة لأمّة قادتها طغاة، لا يعوّل عليها كل جدار يفصل حبيبين ،مهما علا لا يعوّل عليهكل سلاح قمع ذكي كان أم غبي، لا يعوّل عليه كل احتجاج مطلبه كرسيّ، لا يعوّل عليهكل كرسي يُقعِد جالسَه مدى الحياة، لا يعوّل عليهكل مليون تتّسع له كراسي استاد ميشيغان، لا يعوّل عليهوكل فرد ينوب عن مليون ، لا يعوّل عليهكل جمع ضرب و طرح و قسمة، لا يعوّل عليهكلّ لبناني ينظّر من

The Big Picture

2008-02-19T17:05:00.002+02:00

Landmarks have always been used in directions due to the lack of street signs and building numbers in Beirut. "50 meters after the pothole", "right next to the chestnut tree", or "where that restaurant used to be" are regularly used even though that restaurant closed before you were born.These days, however, directions have gotten much easier. You see the huge picture of Saad Hariri with his

Penny Pinching

2008-02-16T11:59:00.004+02:00

Haifa Wehbe $75,000; Nancy Ajram $75,000; Najwa Karam $75,000; Assi Hellani $75,000; Elissa $75,000; Majida El Roumi $60,000; Ragheb Alameh $60,000; Nawal El Zoghbi $50,000; Wael Kfouri $50,000, Fares Karam $40,000; Walid Toufic $30,000; Dominique Hourani $25,000; Jad Choueiri $25,000; Mayez El Bayyaa $Peanuts; Ahmad Kaabour $Tossed Salad.15 acts for a maximum total cost of $715,000 and a

Nothing Nice to Say

2008-02-06T12:44:00.000+02:00

How does it go? "If you have nothing nice to say... just say mean things." My silence over the last few weeks is not due to the lack of things to talk about, but the lack of nice things to say. Anger is a different domain with its own specialists.Today, there's a World cup Qualifier against Uzbekistan. The weather is beautiful , so here's an opportunity to enjoy an outdoor activity away from

License to Kill

2008-01-19T14:28:00.000+02:00

I estimate Corniche El Mazraa to be about a kilometer long, which if you divide by 5 meters you get room for 200 cars on each side of the road. On a Friday afternoon there are over 400 cars parked along the Corniche and none had a parking ticket on its windshield, so I assumed it was safe and extremely lucky for me to park right in front of Abou Ahmad for a quick bite. However, as I walked out I

Algebra

2008-01-09T17:46:00.000+02:00

x + y + z = u x < u/2 y < u/3 x > y > z x + y + z + u ≤ 0 x ∩ y = Ф x U y = 235U u= √-1 Find x,y,z,u Bonus: Find Michel Nayla Mouawad