Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Best Propaganda in Buenos Aires

It’s been a week in Buenos Aires, and I would say at this point over 95% of conversational exchanges I’ve had with people end with: “Ok, so how much do I owe you?”

It might be normal for a tourist. But apparently porteños too use that line a lot. I’ve been told Buenos Aires is the city with the largest shrink population in the world. I believed it because why would anyone use a superlative unless it’s true. I must say I have seen evidence in this week that makes it plausible that the statement is true. I wrote before about people avoiding eye contact with other people, but these eyes don’t seem to have a problem making contact with books. There is a bookshop of some size on every street block. As a holder of an MBA degree from the prestigious University of Miami (back in the good-old-days we used to brag about its Football dominance, now we have to resort to boring outstanding academic standards), I can deduce that there is a market for books. So if ignorance is bliss, then reading equals an expensive psychotherapy bill.

There is also a lot of drying dogshit on the sidewalks, a lot of people scooping fresh dogshit, and professional dogwalkers who text on the job (pictured above). Also, within a few storefronts of that bookshop on every block there is a pet care shop. My intuition says there is a bit of a pet culture here. I don’t want to say that pets and shrinks are related in any way, but for some reason I am saying just that.

There is also a Carrefour Express and the Best Parrilla in Buenos Aires on every city block. If it’s not the Best Parrilla, it’s the Best Empanada or the Best Pizza in Buenos Aires. I also happen to be staying in the Best apartment in BA. The guy listing the apartment had 3 other listings and they were all the Best Apartment in BA.

So what happens when someone isn’t the Best? Clearly, they would go to the Best shrink in town who makes them believe they’re the Best again.

I am so tempted to try one of the Best American fast food burger franchises in town. Can they possibly get away with replacing meat with shit and marketing slogans in a country where people claim to know their meat? They do. There are McMierdas all over the place.

Music of the day? I didn't record any, but this seems appropriate.

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