Saturday, July 29, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 18

"Ummm, It's essential, uhhhh, that we do what's, ahhhhhh, right -- not necessarily, ummmm, what appears to be, ohhhhh, immediately popular."

George Bush stuttered these words yesterday as he stood next to his loyal alibi from the land of royals with cool accents. What's the definition of Democracy again? Never mind.

I must say thank God and all his annointed men on earth that we have a man in Washington DC that is willing to decide what is Right for us in Lebanon and impose it on us dumb fucks. A "peace proposal" will fall from the sky tomorrow and land in our bombed out airport. We must accept it and kiss it on both cheeks because that is what's right.

Do what we say is right, or have nothing left. Don't be naughty, listen to Rice. All sort of offers we can't refuse, yet the self-righteous one does not bring up the obvious solution according to 99% of the civilized 21st century humans on this globe.

Immediate cease-fire and peaceful negotiations.

Alas, that is just not, umm, ahhh, oohhh, ummm, uhh... Right.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 17

Day 17 of Olmert's military campaign against Lebanon sees no major changes. Civilians still being killed by the dozens by Israel's war machine with the blessings of Bush's team of liberators. There doesn't seem to be any efforts in sight to stop the bloodshed. The world watches on TV, feels bad but does nothing.

Lebanon has become part of Bush's New Middle East Project. The most democratic country in the Middle East, the most diverse country in the Middle East, the country whose people enjoy the most freedoms and rights in the Middle East is being punished for not being submissive. Meanwhile the root of extremism and champions of oppression are praised as moderate allies in the New Middle East.

Lebanon will be the example for the New Middle East alright. It won't be what the nincompoops in Washington are hoping for though. We will make it happen without invading countries or bullying people. Our will will not be bent. Our choices will be respected. We will set an example, that is beyond doubt.

What is questionable though is how long will Olmert be willing to do Bush's bidding in Lebanon. Is he dumb enough to turn Israel into a sacrificial lamb for Bush's failed experiments in the region? Well, he is, but how long will the Israelis put up with his ever-changing goals and diminishing expectations. He might've been angry, but he's starting to look more like Dazed Olmert, or In way over his head Olmert, or Singing-the Lebanon-blues Olmert, or ok You get the point.


Thursday, July 27, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 16

I don't want to get accused of only pointing the negative side of Olmert's vicious criminal war.
If you look beyond the 500 civilians killed so far and the immeasurable pain and suffering he inflicted on the people of Lebanon and the people of Israel for that matter, you might find a positive.

Back in January I tipped the scales at 96.5 Kg. When I saw that number I freaked out and started a serious diet. My goal was 89 Kg, but when I hit 91 Kg I was content with my achievement and went back to pigging out. Since then I've hovered around that weight.

Today, after 2 weeks under siege and no working elevator, I weigh 87.5 Kg.

I look and feel great. Heck, Ariel Sharon has had tubes up every orifice in his body over that same period of time, he has kept a strict diet of liquid dripping from a sac(yummyyy), he's had half his brain removed, and he probably still weighs more than me.

Surveillance planes are overhead now. That's usually a sign that the F-16s will be following soon.

Good Night.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 14

Since a ceasefire seems to be frowned upon by the whole universe, a.k.a the Bush Regime, it's time to make the necessary lifestyle adjustments to withstand a long battle. With bread prices going up and liquor prices going down some choices are too obvious. Other decisions, however, aren't quite as easy.

When commuting, for example, the only variables to consider used to be traffic congestion and the parking situation at your destination. Now you have to monitor truck activity, plan a route that minimizes bridge usage, plan a route that actually still exists, factor in the gas consumption index since what is burnt might not be easily replaced, and then scrap it all and stay put since no commute is worth getting killed by a precision phosphorus bomb.

Another daily dilemma is how to budget your Gillette Super Turbo Mach 3's with gooey stuff. Shaving must become less frequent, but you have to make sure you don't let it go a day too long for the obvious reason that Olmert is too eager these days to show his people pictures of dead bearded men.

More on these issues in the coming days, but can someone please explain to me what the heck does a post-menopausal virgin know about birth pangs!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 13

While the world's attention is divided between the border skirmishes and the diplomatic empty talk, I want to remind you of the plight of hundreds of thousands of Lebanese people.

Over half a million people have been left homeless by Olmert's war crimes. A lucky few are getting to sleep on the floor in overcrowded apartments. The grand majority have lost their homes and all their belongings overnight, courtesy of precision weapons which happen to accidently cause mass destruction, to find themselves in schoolyards and rat infested parks.

Then there are those who are stranded in many isolated villages in the south. They are told by the Israeli armed assassins to leave their homes, even though there are no ways in or out. If they do leave, they are met by the most technologically advanced, but not always legal, weaponry. Off course those are designed to annihilate everything in or around their path.

The peace-loving democracy-spreading rulers of the free world don't seem to be too keen on the idea of a ceasefire. Probably because it will lead to that alien and barbaric concept of "peaceful negotiations and resolutions." That only means the humanitarian catastrophe Lebanon is facing is due to worsen. The destruction of all ports and roads won't help much.

What I'm trying to get to is that we all need to get off our asses and help. We're gonna need to provide help today, tomorrow, and for a long time in the foreseeable future.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 12

Day 12 of Olmert's killing campaign is in the books and still no military accomplishments to speak of. This is the point where you start making them up. These make believe scenarios have to be creative, captivating, and convincing. Recent examples of such practices can be seen in Bush's War on Terror. Remember when the CIA stopped a group of Haitians in Miami seconds before they punctured a Sears Tower voodoo doll? How about that junkie here in Clemenceau that was going to flood Manhattan in one of his LSD trips?

Ok, maybe make-believe war accomplishments don't have to be convincing but they must make for catchy headlines. So in an effort to help Olmert sell a "victory" to his people and so that he stops killing civilians left and right, I propose we compile a list of war trophy headlines that he can showcase in lieu of real accomplishments.

I'll get it started:

-Mossad Agents trim Nasrallah's Beard, Render him Powerless.
-Overdose of Eighties' War Songs Drive Lebanese Society Nuts.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 11

Beirut is still relatively calm today. Most people think it's because of the American evacuations taking place these days. Whatever the reason for this lull is, I don't expect it to last especially with the lack of any military progress for Olmert's terrorist troops.

Lebanon has been taking a pounding for eleven days, but we still stand tall. Olmert tried to sever our knees, only to see us rise higher. Chopped our hands off and we reached further. Olmert stuck a dagger in our heart, but the heartbeat got stronger.

Yo Olmert, baffled huh? This isn't the Lebanon of 1982. It is not the Lebanon of 2000 either.

In 2006, Lebanon hears through your empty noise. Take out our eyes but you can't blind us.

To Olmert's credit though, he is realizing Lebanon won't break. He is moving to plan B.

If you can't fool the Lebanese, fool yourself. Kill more innocent civilians and tell your people you are finishing off Hezbollah. They'll believe you and hail you as a hero. Isn't that what you wanted in the first place?

Be careful what you wish for though, you might get the same heroic end as your master.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 10

I've been out and about all day today and I haven't had time to write something up. I do have a question for Olmert though.

After killing over 300 Lebanese Civilians and destroying the infrastructure a country, what have you accomplished?

How much closer are you to the Goals you set up for your war?

... Thought So.

I'll leave you with a song tune that will be annoyingly stuck in your head and that you will be humming all night long. Sorry.


What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing,Uh-huh

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 9

Beirut has been calm today. Again that's not the case in the South where for the second day in a row Israel is attempting to advance on the ground. Ariel Sharon is still shitting himself, while his understudy is scratching his bald head looking for a way out of the "Lebanese Mud".

Olmert is discovering that even in the driest month of the year, Lebanon is as muddy as ever for his killing machine. The high ceiling he set for this bloody adventure on Day 1 is looking more unrealistic with every passing day. Instead Olmert is looking for any trophy photo op to save face. Until then expect a plethora of crimes against civilians and barrage of lies to cover them up.

Olmert's problem is that he failed to realize that no one can figure out Lebanon, not even the Lebanese understand Lebanon. Lebanon is and has always been a permanently PMSing female.Thinking that he had it all figured out and that he could manipulate this little country, he proceeded with his little killing campaign. Well, that arrogance is only gonna get him a swift kick in the balls.

Olmert is trying to tame the untamable. Well let's see his face when he finally concedes that his only way out is through negotiations. It won't be the face of someone stuck in Lebanese Mud; It'll be the face of someone absorbing the full force of a Lebanese Khazouk.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 8

Beirut is relatively calm again. That is not the case with the other areas where it has been the fiercest since the beginning of the Israeli offensive against Lebanon. Olmert's killing machine is still doing a heck of job rooting out civilians on the run. Wait though, according to some Israeli propagandists who have infested the comments section of this blog, "There are no innocent civilians. Even the Babies are "terrorist" sympathizers."

Let's use this twisted logic for a second. Hezbollah earned about 400,000 nationwide in the last elections. Add to that the number of kids who apparently are fair game for the Israeli military targeting and you'll get about a million people.
So according to Olmert and buddies these one million people are legitimate killing prospects.

By this same logic, there is a consensus in Israel supporting this killing campaign. Again using Israeli logic, civilians with sympathy towards assassins are fair game for targeting. I repeat by Israeli logic, 4 to 5 million Israelis might be civilians but they are killer sympathizers. Definitely not innocent and should not be spared in this confrontation.

What do you think? Sounds Fair?

So my Israeli friends,
As angry and frustrated Olmert continues to cowardly kill civilians, I have no doubt you will find more creative ways to spin it and legitimize these killings. Go ahead convince yourselves that crushing a fleeing family is necessary for a safer Israel but believe me you are only fooling yourselves.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 7

Today I toured a few of the shelters, well that's if you can call an open area with no roof and no place to sleep a shelter. I see a need for a relief effort coordination. I spoke to the supervisors in different sites, and while they are doing a great job running their sites there seems to be a lack of communication with other sites and relief organizations. So extra food in one site is not getting to places where they need food. The same goes for volunteers and other supplies.

Seeing how the relief effort will have to go on well after a possible ceasefire, coordination and long term planning is of utmost importance. So any people with ideas or resources to create such a coordination effort, please contact me or the different volunteer groups. We all can help, and we have to help for a long time as this is a humanitarian disaster that the whole world is happy to applaud. One thing I heard in all camps is that there is a shortage of medicine and a complete absence of the government. I'm sure the truckload of medicine that was liberated by an Israeli F-16 today in Zahle won't ease the situation. Also entertainers for kids are very important. They have a clown and a puppeteer alternating at one site, but just picture hundreds of kids bored and asking "Are we there yet?" simultaneously.

Now, what you'll find an excess of across every school, park, or any other make shift shelter you visit are high spirits. That'll surely make Olmert even angrier.


Monday, July 17, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 6

A cloud of smoke, dust, and death still fills the sky of Beirut. 200 have been murdered and hundreds more maimed by Olmert’s killing machine. A lot of the villages in the south are running out of food and water. Israeli planes order those villagers to evacuate within an hour yet they shoot anything that moves. Who’s the terrorist again?

Guess what though. The Lebanese are more determined, more united, and more defiant than ever. My sister, who wept uncontrollably the first night, now sleeps through the blasts even though they are getting louder and more frequent. We persevere.

I was watching highlights of La Fiesta de San Fermin. You have a 600 Kilogram Mad Bull taking on a 75 Kg Fighter. The animal comes out strutting his force running full speed across the ring. The animal attacks brutally anything that moves in front of it. The animal huffs and puffs. The crowd just watches and cheers. Some cheer on the animal, others cheer on the human. Then the animal is pinched. A little pinch that won’t bring down this massive creature. It does hurt though and a hurt bull becomes angrier, madder. The animal charges with more vengeance this time. An impressive massive force charging towards skinny clowns whose balls are hanging out. The bull is poked a couple of more times. More pain means more madness. The animal now charges thinking it’s going for the kill. 600 Kilograms of fury charging towards a target. The target is hit, no kill though. There was nothing there. The animal tries again, again no kill. Angry madness turns into Frustration. A frustrated animal charges, but it’s running out of steam. The animal gets dizzy. The fighter grabs the bull by the horns. The bull is humiliated. The bull doesn’t stop though. It doesn’t think, it just attacks.

In the end the animal always dies and is dragged out in complete humiliation.

Lebanon doesn’t die.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 5

The Israeli propaganda machine is trying to paint this war as an Islamists war on Jews. Playing the anti-semitism card is always the way out for Israel when they have nothing else to legitimize their killing machine. Especially after their terrorism card stopped being effective considering the only terrorism being practiced currently is that of the Israeli Air Force on Millions of Lebanese civilians.

But let us look a little more into that claim.

Islamist resistance movements are only new comers to the picture. Long before Hezbollah and Hamas, Israeli oppression of Palestinians and Lebanese created many resistance movements. None of them were Islamist. The initial wave of resistance was leftist and secular. Israel’s destruction of these movements aided the rise in Islamist movements. Israel preferred dealing with Islamists because waging a war on “religious wackos” would be an easier sell for their PR machine. The invasions of Lebanon in 1978 and 1982 were before Hezbollah even existed. Comatose Sharon’s claim to fame in Sabra and Shatila was one of the reasons Hezbollah started appealing to the populace. That was in 1983 long after 1948 and 1967 when Islamism was nowhere to be found.
We can thank Israeli policy for the rise in religious fanaticism in the region as its racist oppressive strategy since 1948 brought this upon us.

So when Israeli missiles blow up a bus of fleeing civilians and their spokespeople claim that "religious anti-semitic wackos" were hiding under the bus, they are only trying to make their ethnic cleansing practices more acceptable to the western audience.

On to today's events, the sun is not visible in Beirut today, a cloud of smoke and dust fills the sky. The night was rough, the explosions are getting louder and more frequent. Personally, I got used to it and I slept through it. A lot of families are sleeping huddled in open areas in different areas of Beirut. Schools are packed with people left homeless by Olmert's war. Olmert is trying to earn his stripes. Right now the only stripes he has earned are of a frustrated killer.

Hezbollah hit Haifa's port, oil refinery, and train station this morning, so expect Israel to retaliate by bombing another bus full of fleeing families since they already bombed all of our ports and oil refineries.

More later...

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 4.5

Right now we can feel the escalation. While the night was calm, the day has been anything but.

The streets of Beirut are emptier than yesterday at this time. Most people are starting to prepare for a long term confrontation. No one handles a psychological war like the Lebanese people. Civilians have been hit hard. Bombs are getting bigger and louder. At the pace this thing is going, a long term confrontation would mean regional involvement. I still think the US would not allow this conflict to spillover to Syria and Iran.

Olmert's bet on a sectarian uprising or infighting breaking out and taking care of Hezbollah for them seems less likely to materialize with each passing air raid. We're divided and we hate each other, but one thing that brings all together is the Israeli war machine. Most of us have felt their crimes first hand and memories die hard. Others still hold grudges against Israel for using them and then leaving them out to dry. Hezbollah will have to answer a few questions when all is said and done, but we will not do Israel's dirty work. We're not that dumb.

Beirut Port being hit hard, I just heard about 10 blasts.

More Later...

Angry Olmert Day 4

I'll take time to address some of the issues that come up in the comments section of this blog. I'd like to thank all those participating. As a firm believer in free speech and exchange of opinions (and negotiations to resolve conflict for that matter), I appreciate those of you taking time to share your views without calling me or others monkeys.

First Issue: The State of Israel is a racist entity. For those of you trying to argue that it's less racist than Saudi Arabia I say nice choice of a role model. I don't think that's who you should be aspiring to emulate, but that's just me. To those calling me a hypocrite for only seeing Israel's faults, I refer you to the archives of this blog where you'll find plenty of criticism of what's wrong in Lebanon. I've been venting for a year about Lebanon while I'm just getting started on Israel so stay tuned for a lot of "surprises". More later.

As for today's killing campaign. Reports just in say that 12 civilians fleeing their village in the South were killed by missiles fired from an F-16. So Hezbollah last night dealt another blow to the Israeli Military by destroying one of its warships, Israel retaliates by killing defenselesss civilians. Nice use of the superior military machine.

Right now things seem to be heading towards a prolonged confrontation. Olmert promised a lot of things he can't fulfill which has him looking for a way to end this in way he could save face. The only thing he can brag about is wide destruction and killing of tens of civilian.

I just heard a loud explosion. Last night was relatively calm in Beirut which was good for catching up on sleep after a few sleepless nights. These 4 days have been exhausting which makes you feel for the people of Gaza who've been suffering this treatment for weeks. Well more like years. The goal is submission, but no human being likes to be bullied. There goes another loud explosion

Again I renew my earlier assertion to Rambo Olmert. You can negotiate today, or you can negotiate in a week, or you can negotiate in 3 months. In the end that's your only choice.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Angry Olmert Day 3

So Olmert woke me up at 3 am, made my mom freak out, made my sister weep uncontrollably, made me take a cold shower with no water pressure this morning, and he expects me to support his effort to eradicate Hezbollah.

But let's talk about Peace.

I've noticed a high number of Israelis on Lebanese blogs these days claiming they want peace. They say we deserve what we are getting for supporting a violent group like Hezbollah.

Oh really! When was the last time the Israelis elected a non-violent government? When was the last time Israelis elected someone who is willing to make the necessary concessions for a FAIR peace deal? When was the last time they chose someone who's willing to stand against the numerous oppresive racist practices against the Palestinians?

You don't want peace. You want your own version of imposed peace on submissive dogs.

Show me an Israeli politician with a fair peace plan, someone who's not a racist oppressive pig, and I'll be first in line to shake his hand.

But as long as your are willing to to punish millions of civillians because someone is willing to stand up to your successive governments' injustices, you will never have peace. WE will never have peace.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

أعذر من أنذر

This is a leaflet dropped earlier tonight. It Basically reads:

Duck Motherfuckers!!!

Signed: State of Israel.

Angry Olmert Day 2

It's seems my analytical opinion on the situation as of last night was seen as an endorsement and pissed off some people. Oh well, your problem not mine.

Anyways, this morning I woke up to the noise of a different kind of fireworks. I think it was a combination of F-16s with punctured exhaust pipes and Soviet-made anti-aircraft artillery.

Last night I said I expected Israel to "punish" and then retreat to avoid escalation and Hezbollah fire power.

(Sorry I need a break , I see a 5 month-old-baby's charred body on Future TV right now.)

Olmert disagrees with me and thinks he should kill, burn 5 month-old-baby-terrorists, kill some more, and then face the inevitable negotiations.

I still think there will be no further escalations and a cease-fire agreement will be reached soon.Olmert needed to show he's not too kind, as if there was a danger of that, but now what?

Olmert can choose to annihilate Hezbollah completely. That would involve a major regional war that I don't think Israel is ready for or that the world community would allow. So that leaves Olmert with the only the choice of when to stop the killing and start the negotiations. Do it today with 30 civillians dead already, or do it next week with 300 dead.

I'm afraid 300 might be the number closer to quenching his blood thirst.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

We're All Hezbollah

Whether we like it or not.

I woke up today thinking Barazil beat Luxemburg or some other soccer power with all the fireworks and honking I heard. It turns out it was something much less important.

Hezbollah did something this morning they've been promising to do for years, yet it caught millions of people by surprise.

Israel, expectedly after a huge military and moral blow, retaliated strongly by air and by sea.

Olmert is promising more hell, but I think it's just hot air.

Hezbollah did their thing in the morning and and then sat back and watched . Israel hit roads and nothing else.


Because any further escalation would give Hezbollah the right (per the April 1996 Agreement) to hit back.

Power station for power station. Tourist season for Tourist Season.

Israel knows Hezbollah rockets are in place, ready, aimed and can reach deep into Israel. 15,000 of them. And that's even before the "surprise".

Israel had to retaliate. No way they could let an act of aggression by Hezbollah go "unpunished." So they barked, hit roads, and killed civilians. In the end they will sit down and negotiate.

Hezbollah acted unilaterally and they will get some criticism for it in Lebanon, especially for endangering the precious tourist season. However, regionally they got millions of admirers for being the only group in the world to do something about the rape of Gaza. Sure, Nasrallah insists today was all about Lebanon and Lebanese POWs, but who is he kidding.
It wasn't and there is no shame in that.

At the end of the day Hezbollah proves they are strong, very strong actually, and Israel is not used to dealing with a strong foe.

Reel in the F-16s and start the negotiations, there just is no other option.

Your North, My South

I will hold out until later tonight for a full reading on today's border situation.

But I expect things to calm down tonight.

Feel free to vent here.

Monday, July 10, 2006

40 Days til the World Cup!

Well, technically it's the World Championship. Lebanon plays in the inaugural game against my country of birth, but I doubt the excitement level in the streets of Beirut on that day will match that of the day Ba Ra Zil played Croatia in a dull game decided by a fortunate kick by a dude named Doodoo.

Personally, I think 2 wins in the group stage should be our goal. Then again I spoke with a member of the National Team a couple of weeks ago and they hadn't even began their headbutting drills. They seem to be taking the Brazil approach of just showing up obese and hoping to win it all.


Former President Hrawi passed away. He'll be remembered for kissing Claudia Schiffer and signing off on cute little 39% annual interest government loans.


Also, I was watching a really funny show on TV earlier with a cute old man who looks to be on his 9th wife and/or heart attack interviewing a cute caring country couple. As I watched I happened to see this cute little news item roll on the screen.

"Israel continues Gaza search for kidnapped soldier."

A cute little game of Hide n' Seek is all it is.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Welcome to Fatfat's

  • One falafel and one alqaeda please.
  • Right away, sir. Would you like a drink with your order?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

You Son of a...

A son of a martyr has been going at it with another son of a martyr in a war of words and accusations that has prompted one son of a martyr to sue the other son of a martyr for defamation.

One of these sons of martyrs has been busy pissing people off as his attack on a bishop pushed a son of a martyr, who's starting to fill in for his mom the widow of a martyr, to meet with a couple of brothers of martyrs amongst others to denounce the son of a martyr.

On another front, a previously mentioned son of a martyr had some delicious sesame covered cookies from Damascus with another son of a martyr. This was seen as a first step for reconciliation between the sons of martyrs and those who allegedly made them sons of martyrs. The power of Sesame opens doors again, just like in the fable.

If you adjust the title of that fable for population growth, how many thieves would we have today?

I am afraid not even 40 Ali Babas can do the job.