One of the great perks about pretending to be a writer is that you can do any type of shit and call it research for a story.
Oh, sure I have a pathetic profile on a dating website, but it's only because I want to see how people react to creepy declarations of love. It's for a love novella I'm writing.
"Stumbling home drunk at sunrise in a city where I don't speak the language" is the title of a travel series I plan to publish in 2065 – you should all be dead by then so none of you will hold me to that.
I'm not stalking a celebrity, I just want to understand how the blues fans of Buenos Aires behave in the presence of their god – god with a small g, because God with the capital G is reserved for some dude coaching football in Dubai.
So my stalking advisor told me that this blues musician is doing a radio show very close to where I was – just 39 blocks away to be exact.
Bus drivers are on strike in Buenos Aires today, but that's irrelevant because I was practically in the same building as the radio station.
At the entrance of the theater were the radio studio is there was a group of about 40 people of die-hard fans of this music genre that was popular a century ago in the southern united states.
"T-Bone Walker or Deadric Malone?" I asked a young woman.
"Como?!?!?!" was her answer. Perhaps, she was more of a purist and preferred the pre-war blues.
A woman with a Venezuelan flag said she didn't know what the blues were or who the dude was, but she wanted to take a picture for Venezuela!
I asked here, "Which Venezuela are you for, because there is a bit of a divide there?"
She said, "Look at me!" At that moment she used here right hand to highlight her silhouette. "Do I look like a Chavista?"
I faked confusion and asked, "I don't know. What does a Chavista look like?"
"Sucio! (Dirty!)" she said with a laugh.
"What a #$%^!" I thought to myself. By the look on the face of the Argentinian woman standing next to me, whose lower jaw had dropped just below her ribcage, she was thinking the same thing.
A group of three women was pleading with the bouncers to let them through the barricade. "Queremos casarnos!" (We want to get married!) was their plea. I guess this blues musician belongs to one of these cults that promote polygamy. Mormon? Muslim?
I was intrigued, so I googled his name. It turns out the dude is British!! So, definitely a Muslim.
But what is a Brit with a sarcasm-filled career doing singing the blues? He couldn't possibly be taking a piss at America. Could he?