Monday, May 28, 2007

Where are Abou El Abed and Abou Steif?

Part of the noise factor and the dangerous speculation battles taking place is the anonymization of the perpetrators of crime. So while Abou Hurayra, Abou Yazan, Abou Jandal, Abou Adass and Sejaan Saadeh are neck deep in accusations or dead; the people with faces who actually answer to registered triple names and might be involved in this mess remain unscathed and even run for office.

Anonymous masked scapegoats are beautiful propaganda tools. Abou Burghol could be blamed for all of Lebanon's ills and simultaneously be Syrian, Saudi, Iranian, Muslim, a blue eyed infidel Ohioan and everything in between . Spin away.

In other anonymous crimes news we have Ashrafiyeh at 30 Kg, Verdun at 25 Kg, and Aley weighing in at a mere 15 Kg. Let's not forget Ain Alaq at 2 x 5 Kg, and 2 years ago, Bouchriyyeh 30 Kg, Brummana 20 Kg, Samir Kassir 500 grams, George Hawi 500 grams, and Rafik Hariri One Billion Kg. I'm no forensic expert, but maybe just maybe, figuring out the weight of the bomb is irrelevant to finding out the perpetrators. Where are thee Abou Horatio Caine?

Finally in sports, Nejmeh Beat Ansar 1-0 (the Minister of Sports who had been on air non stop since friday had nothing to say about the game). But don't rejoice too much Nejmeh fans, as throughout the game Future TV made sure to remind the viewers (via a Breaking News item) that while Nejmeh did actually win, M14 won the Doctor's thingie (I wonder if Doctor Geagea gets to vote?). So it's actually a tie on the day; thus we now go to sudden death.


Ana Min Beirut said...

My very close and inside sources are telling me that the BIG perpetrator behind all this mess is a shady character named ABOU CHAKER ... my digging deeper has shown that he might be ABOU CHAKER el 3abssi the father of the colorful new male model for the new Gillette MACH 16 ... (bti7lo2 3al "Bared" hay el chafra ;-) )

apokraphyte said...

Why do you get funnier when things get scarier ... Is there a class I can take ... :)

M Bashir said...

witty (but then that has already been said)

hilal said...

I agree with apok.

we must tabulate:
"shaheed (mayyit, 7ayy*) vs. Kg."

ziad tonight, or tomorrow?

(plz tell me he delayed it )

* a shaheed is always "7ayy" according to .. well. u know.
and not to confuse, "7ayy" is not the masculin of "7ayyeh". :-)

The Lebanese Connection said...


Very funny man, very funny. Enjoyed reading this piece.