What's Next?

Of course there is no uniform answer to this question in Lebanon, so we will answer this according to each of the various Lebanese factions.

For Future Movement the future is always clear. After evacuating the Saudi brothers from Nahr El Bared the priority will again become the establishment of an International Tribunal. But you may I thought it was a done deal and under Chapter 7 no less. Well, with millions of people wanting to cover for the killers it never is a done deal, so they will milk this for another 2 to 3 years.

Hezbollah will continue to do nothing under the title of Avoiding Civil Strife. Plus their strategy of being patient and waiting usually pays off since its foes always find a way to shoot themselves in the foot.

The Free Patriotic Movement needs to go back to their calls for Accountability. These calls are always met with Public support. But instead they'll continue to throw the best fundraiser ideas and still fall short on the funding of OTV. Don't forget that after Chocolate and Vanilla, Orange is the most favorite flavor.

Amal. Just Kidding.

The Lebanese Forces will elect Amin Gemayyel President then predict that the Syrians are going to kill him. A week later, the Syrians oblige paving the way for the election of Doctor Samir Geagea as the March 14th president.

Walid Jumblatt will move to Patagonia and buy a coca farm. Wiam Wahhab follows him promptly and buys a coca shrub.

The SSNP and the Lebanese Communist Party will continue collecting diapers for the displaced.

As for the government, well we will have 2 of them. Competition is good in free market economies. A couple of years ago we lived for a few months without a government. For the past 7 months we've had 0.7 of a government, so unorthodox governance is our thing. Eventually we'll get it right. I'm just looking forward to find out how Lahoud plans to counter Nayla Mouawwad in his government. I'd go with Maryam Nour.

Now the Lebanese people will still insist that their tabbouleh, ski resorts, and topless beach are evidence that they are fun loving peaceniks. It's the violent others who are full of hate and have been bringing their battles here for the past 5000 years.