Thursday, July 22, 2010

So basically, Israel has been listening in on every phone call in Lebanon for the past 15 years and still had no clue what to hit during the 2006 war. Really though, who would want to listen in on Lebanese phone calls? The Israelis walked straight into a trap there. It is scientifically proven that listening in on a Lebanese phone conversations causes ear canal damage, nausea, and suicidal tendencies which tend to lead to death. Exposure to a 60 morning conversation between two Lebanese jagals sharing hair styling tips can cause more damage to the Merkava shields than a trip up and down Wadi Al Hujair.

Then there are the accused spies.

Have you ever interviewed Lebanese candidates for a job?

Can you imagine all the bullshit they fed the Mossad recruiter during their first encounter at that cafe in Prague?

"Can I tap into the network? Come on man, it's not brain surgery. And even if it is, if you look closely on my CV you will see that I've actually performed a few of those when I was 15... page 7 right between my second moonwalk and my dunk on Shaquille O'Neal."

"Hassan Nasrallah? Have I eavesdropped on him? Just yesterday I listened in on a phone call from his wife. She was telling him not to forget to pick up the groceries. He's staying in a village near Baalbeck."

... and two tables down you could hear:

"An Iron dome? Sure I can build you one, pay now and you'll have it up and running by the end of the year."


Kodder said...

hahahaha Jamal !
Glad you are writing again, don't stop or I am coming back to Leb and kick your ass!
I am an expert in ass kicking you can see it on My CV just between Porn Acting and Guided Farts Expert.

Moussa said...

witty as ever :D

Delirious said...

Ditto! (like they said yanni)