35 years later: The war is alive and kicking

In commemoration of what most parties involved agreed to as being the day that start of the civil war, today's nationally unified politicians will stage a football game between teams made up of mostly out of shape middle aged men who also double as ministers, members of parliament, war criminals, money launderers, drug pushers, and your run of the mill attention whores. The teams will be dressed in red and white and the match will naturally be refereed by a cedar tree.

Beautiful. What can do more to bring people together than a football game just as the country and the region embark on World cup season, a season where flags of nations from around the world, except for this region, will be hoisted; and people will cheer wildly for countries whose embassies they'd hope to enter one day.

But here's the kicker.

In order to preserve national unity, the Lebanese national unity football game will take place at an empty stadium.

You just can't make these kind of things up.