It has become hard to keep up with these resolutions as a new one pops up every couple of days, but this latest one is their best yet. UNSCR#1636 resoluted something that has not been resoluted in the history of the UN. UNSCR#1636 unanimously declared that Detlev Mehlis is now officially God of Syria. This is great news for all aspiring Gods in the world; the precedent has been set. The author of Bird Flu for Dummies has already finished writing the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Becoming God.
Back to Syria, the B-52s are loaded with bunker buster MOABs, fuel tank is only quarter full but that’s enough these days, Top Gun CD is playing in the cockpit’s CD player, and the pilot sharpens his skills on his Xbox. It will come down to December 15th, when God is due to give his verdict whether Syrian cooperation was satisfactory. So if God is unhappy with the way Bashar shined his shoes, the Original God would say, “George, go liberate Syria.” And George will oblige. If Mehlis somehow gets all he wants from Syria, then it’s on to more UNSC resoluting.