Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Extra, Extra

In a roundup of Beirut dailies we find these curious news items.

First of all, a look at the crime blotter shows that the tally of homicide victims falls short to suicide deaths for the first 6 months of 2007 (51 to 57). So for the paranoid amongst readers, now you have factual evidence that shows you that constantly looking over your shoulder just doesn’t cut it anymore.

The major headline in the sports page of one daily states that 13 Christians and only 2 Muslims make up the board of the Volleyball federation. Of course the news here is not that the Muftis will cry about the Christianization of sports but the fact that there are people that still play Volleyball!! Why isn’t there a Hide and Seek federation? It certainly is more deserving than Volleyball.

Speaking of hiding, the President of the Republic is still successfully guarding his top secret solution to the crisis. Unnamed high ranking sources say it involves red Speedos, Maryam Nour, and seven spices.

Finally, his feudal lordship Elie Beik Skaff suspects arsonists are behind the fire that destroyed his wheat harvest in Ammeeq. Good luck finding the perpetrators. Now if the fire was at the nearby Kefraya which happens to belong to another feudal land owner; the case would’ve been added to the other terrorist attacks and Serge Brammertz would’ve been on it. Maybe that’s why he is flirting with a camp switch.


Anonymous said...

So, lemme see if I can get this straight, DICKHEAD! You're equating an act of vandalism involving the private property of a Syrian lackey with the out-and-out MURDER of anti-Syrian political figures? Human beings no less??

Are you for fucking real?

I don't even know why I even bother visiting this shit hole of a blog of yours! Piece of human feces! No wonder I'm your only reader!

A.M. said...

2 readers.
Also, he never mentioned the murder of human beings. Just that certain people seem to blame our eastern neighbors for every single fart that gets blown their way. Same goes for our southern neighbors.

And as for your precious anti-Syrian political figures? Well if I remember correctly, they have all enthusiastically rimmed Syrian anus at one point or another in their political careers.

أمل said...

maskeen jamal

he has one reader only

Mariloo said...

Haha anonymous 9:16 is so hilarious! Ya tisslamle, only Martians don't read Jamal's blog(and that's 'cause their existence hasn't been proven yet ;)

And if you still aren't able to understand the spirit with which he writes and grasp his wit, then you are not welcome anyways. Don't worry, your absence won't be missed....it won't even be noticed. ;)

And yeah, it's so easy to hide behind an anonymous ass - oops I mean face - and use foul language to show what an impressively pathetic piece of humanity you are.

My utter respect to you.
/tips hat.

ali bm said...

well it is true of this "anonymous" what is said of all Arabs, and lebanese in particular, "they don't read, and if they read then they don't undestand".

Ibn Bint Jbeil said...

Jamal, the outright angry emotion with which anonymous9:16 reacts to your writing proves your point utterly!