Thursday, December 14, 2006

ميشال أفندي

يا حضرة الجنرال العماد الدولة والرئيس والاصلاح والتغيير وكل شي،
يا أشرف الناس و أكرم الناس و أعزّ الناس و يا أحلى عالم إنت،
بدّك رئاسة الجمهوريّة؟ لك خوذ الرئاسات التلاتة و فوقن العرش الملكي الهاشمي الاردني و حبّة مسك إذا بدّك،
هلّقتنيّي صارفي إجماع وطني عهَل قضيّة، اسلام و مسيحيّة ، دروز و شيعة و سنّية.بس في شرط واحد.
بليز ، برحمة إمّك و بيّك ، بحياة لي راحوا ولّي رح يرجعوا، بنبَوّس ايديك وإجريك. إحرُق التياب لي كنت لابسها نهار الاحد الماضي! شو كاين عمبتفكّر؟ لك عيب ، في مليون واحد شافوك . منظرك كان من اساليب التعذيب المحظورة بالمعاهدات الدوليّة ، لا بغوانتانامو ولا بأبو غريب ولا حتّى بالمزّة عملوها هيدي. لو أولمرت تجرّأ و طلع هيك بالحرب كانوا انبطحوا رجال الله في الميدان و يعطيك العافية. جماعة كوير آي قلبوا سترايت واعتزلوا المهنة بس شافوك كيا زلمي.
صارلو البلد يومين تلاتة متل المضروب عراسو من صدمة هالشوفة، لك حتّى الإكسترا بوروجو ما عم ينفع.
بشرفك ما بقى تعيدا.
متفرقات
- زافين و 666 من أجل لبنان
أنا كنت شاكك في لهلشخص من زمان
هلّق عرفت ليش بيتزرزع بدني كل ما شوفو

- أنا بحترم خالد صاغية، هو أوّل واحد بقرالو مقالتو بالأخبار بعد ما إخلص من جوزيف سماحة ، وبعد زياد لمّا يكتب، و بعد الأبراج أكيد.
بس عم لاحظ إنو كل ما أكتب عن موضوع، هو بيكتب عن نفس الموضوع (آخر مثال كان كذبة الأزعور). فعمبتسائَل هل يا ترى هيدا لانّو طاغي علينا الفكر الشمولي لي عم بيبشّرنا في بيك كليمنصو؟

- و أخيراً أغنية مهداة لملهم هلبوست
يطول عمرو.

18 comments:

hillz said...

jayydeh minnak..
la7azit nafs eshi 3an khaled saghiyyeh :P

Anonymous said...

shkour rabbak ya jamal enno albatrak sleiman ma 2allad al general, haydak el akhdar al phosfoury is the silah el dammar al shamel.

What is "Occupation" said...

this is the translation via google:

Michel Effendi you attended Brigadier General, the President and the state of reform and change, everything is, you honest people and Akram people and the people dearest Oh, you beautiful world, to destroy the presidency of the republic? You helmets presidencies Altlath and Vokan Jordanian Hashemite throne and grain handling if you want, Hlqatnei Sarve national consensus Ahl case, Islam and Christian, Druze and the Shiites and the Sunnis. But in one condition. Belize, compassion and pick your mother, the life of me died Crown refer terrorist act, commonly Aidik and Ajrik. I burned Altiab Kent Absha Sunday last! Shaw Kaen Amptvker? You defect, in the one million Chavuk. Menzark was torture methods banned by international treaties, in Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib, not even El-Mezzeh committed Heidi. If Olmert dared, and showed up Heck Anbtahua war were men of God in the field and would give you vitality. Any group Quéretaro turned Islander, having retired profession, but Chavuk Kia good. Sarlo country three days seeing the situation Araso Halhovh of shock, so you Alackstra Borojo what makes a man. Bshrvk remaining reconsider. Miscellaneous - Zavin, 666 for Lebanon, I was Shack in Hlchkhs known for a long time now Why Pitzerza bodily everything Hovo - I Bhatrm Khalid ears, is the first one Bakralo Magalto news after what I conclude from Joseph Samaha, and after what he writes Ziad, and after the towers uncertain. But Uncle noted Anu everything I write on the subject, is Beketb on the same subject (the latest example it is a lie Alazaour). Vamptsael Do you see this is Lanoux Taqi we thought totalitarian me Uncle Bibsherna in Pec Clemenceau? - Finally, the song recital for inspiring Hellbost affects Amr.

anyone want to correct it to make sense?

Anonymous said...

what is occupation it was written in lebanese dialect not arabic.
no online translator can translate it.

Anonymous said...

this is it :
you post your fakcing shiting “thoughts’ on the language that nobody but your facking people can read so go fack yourselves if you have nothing to tell to the world

Anonymous said...

kpdddddddeeerrr
"no online translator can translate it."
no one can translator can translate ANYTHING YOU ARE SAYING

Anonymous said...

a drunk anonymous...
heh

Jamal said...

No Spamming Please.

If you want to comment on this post or any other please stick to the subject, any advertisement for other websites will be deleted.

What is "Occupation" said...

Kodder said...
what is occupation it was written in lebanese dialect not arabic.
no online translator can translate it.



well it would still be nice to understand it...

Delirious said...

Ha ha ha!

Luv the song! ;-)

Lebanese W Bass said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lebanese W Bass said...

Here's my humble attempt at rendering into English Jamal's much more colorful and pointed Lebanese original.

"Respected Brigadier General, Your Excellency Mr. Prime Minister, Champion of Reform and Progress, or what have you, etc...
Hot damn you honest, generous, most dear and beautiful people you. Wanna be president, do ya? Hell, take all three presidencies (Republic, Cabinet, and Assembly) if that's what floats your boat, and throw in a bagel with a schmear and the Hashemite throne for yourself while you're at it!!!
"Halli2tniyyi" --Jamal is lampooning the General here for one of his most famous "fillers", which roughly translates into the English filler "now"-- Halli2tniyyi, there's already been an overwhelming national consensus with regards to this issue; everyone, Druze, Shiites, Sunnis etc... all agree that you should be President, but with one stipulation. Puhlleeeeez, for the love of God, for the sake of your dead mother and father, and for the memory of all the departed ones and the ones that shall return one day; I beg you pleeeeaze, set fire to the risible clothes you were wearing last Sunday, will ya?
What the hell were you thinking man? What on earth possessed you, you buffoon sonovagun you?
Crap, some one million people were watching! Have you no shame? Quite a spectacle you were, little man!
Hell, there should be a law against the way your were dressed last Sunday, weirdo!
Shit, your attire should be considered a form of torture to be banned by international treaties. Not even Guantanamo, AbuGhraib, or Mazzeh could have thought up equally reprehensible forms of torture. Hell, had Olmert dared dress up publicly last summer the way you were dressed last Sunday, shit, all of Allah's men would have busted out and seeyyyah!!! Shit, even the "boys" from Queer-eye turned straight and retired from their profession the minute they layed eyes on you little buddy! Hell, the entire country has been in a surreal sort of daze ever since they caught a glimpse of you in your new threads. Puhlleeeeze "mon General", promise me you won't resort to those same goofy vestimentary antics again! Pretty please!??"

Anonymous said...

Check out Kampfeblog for the latest installment of The Sinister Roots of Zionism - failed ideological construct: part deux - Turkish Bloodbath! And Happy Chrisma-Hanna-Kwanzakaa!

EDB said...

And vatisokyupashan, just to clarify, the General appeared at a massive rally looking like his grandchildren had played a trick on their senile grandpa, by dressing him in preposterous neon-orange casual wear and sending him off to play golf. He looked like a dimwitted and rotund midgit who has lost everything (including his mind) and is forced to work as a promoter for Orangina or the likes. It was quite a sight. You mean to say politicians don't play dress up in your little embattled enclave? Jeez, your really missing out.

Anonymous said...

I thought it looked like he was giving his speech from guantanamo bay. The reason he was so agitated was that some GI probably had aoun's balls wired up to the electric grid.

What is "Occupation" said...

The reason he was so agitated was that some GI probably had aoun's balls wired up to the electric grid.



Hmm.. does hezbollah use electric wires?

Tell me, are those israeli's that were captured by hezbollah (part of lebanese government) that have NEVER been seen alive since they were captured tortured?

why hasnt the lebanese government complied with the UN and released them or at minimum PROVED that they have not been murdered?

go ahead, please tell me, and if they are not allowed to be seen, should israel cut off all red cresent visits to all lebanese they have captured?

EDB said...

Ha! nice try, vatisokupayshon.
We don't know anything about the fate of the soldiers (and I am taking the liberty of responding to you in the collective. Very very few individuals probably know any details about the soldiers' whereabouts and condition, which is why you've had a hard time retrieving them. 100,000 bombs later...)
Didn't your government publish evidence that both soldiers were severely wounded during the Hezbollah operation?
Well there you have it.

Please don't waste our time with that whole spiel about should-we-in-turn-deny-you-the-same rights.The masquerading of a "balanced response" only serves to appease the "conscience" of your public so that they can sleep soundly while your army embarks on righteous killing sprees, not the Lebanese/Palestinians/etc. We know full well that you egregiously violate rights on a daily basis without any excuse.

And please let's not talk about violating UN resolutions. The multitude of UN resolutions you continuously violate effect the lives of millions, as opposed to two soldiers and their families.

chantal said...

I was laughing my ass off. Thanks for this post. The queer eye part was great.