Thursday, February 22, 2007

You can't spell "Tante min el Achrafiyeh" without TNT in el Achrafiyeh

My friend in the garbage business tells me that we recycle 6% of our garbage, that includes all of our political class. That means we have a 94% margin of improvement since Zero waste is possible with today's technology. Not only is it possible, it is doable at a much lower cost than we pay Sukleen (whose owners shall remain anonymous) to basically just relocate Beirut's garbage to abandoned villages.

Speaking of garbage diposal, every couple of days someone decides to quit an old vice and dispose of his supply of TNT in the nearest dumpster. Now that's a commendable act but it is causing a bit of panic in the neighborhood. Shouldn't we encourage these repentant souls by providing them with safe ways to get rid of their hazardous material? Is TNT recyclable? I'm sure we can we turn it into biodegradable toilet paper, or wassabi, or something. We can equip recycling bins with voting booth style curtains to protect the anonymity of recyclers, that way you can't tell if they're dumping Paper, Glass, or good old TNT.

Action must be taken, we are sitting on thousands of tons, metric and nautical, of this stuff; if you doubt that go look under the layer of soil in that plant pot hanging off your balcony. We might as well put it to good use. It might be enough to wipe out the national debt, or the whole city, or something.

5 comments:

apokraphyte said...

Hilarious.

Kodder said...

hahaha

What is "Occupation" said...

I would not want to be anywhere in the south in about 90 days...

Ibn Bint Jbeil said...

what is ziopation,
is that a threat? izrael's threats have historically proven ineffective in lebanon, so please, threaten on!

jamal,
can we mix it with falafel? what about hummus?

what is ziopation,
is that hammas in your hummus?

What is "Occupation" said...

Ibn Bint Jbeil said...
what is ziopation,
is that a threat? izrael's threats have historically proven ineffective in lebanon, so please, threaten on!

No just reading the tea leaves, hezbollah has started to threaten the unifil troops, planting new ied's on the border, has completely restocked it's rockets, so no,not a threat, but thanks for explaining that israel did no damage to lebanon in the last round.

Maybe israel should listen to you and this time actually TRY to flatten the villages without allowing the civilians to flee? then we'd be just like hezbollah!!!