Thursday, April 03, 2008

Maronites: Pound for Pound

The United States does it. So do Arab states; the moderately evil countries and the evilly moderate ones. I don't see why Lebanon should refrain from doing it, aren't we afterall the face of the Dakotas in the Middle East according to one Lebanese ultranationalist.

I'm talking, of course, about putting presidential faces on currency. Spare me the talk that we shan't worship false idols because we do it more than anyone ever did. Heck, we produced the real idols who preached about false idols.

We'll start off with Beshara El Khoury on the 100,000LL bill; not because he is worth more than the others but purely for aesthetic reasons, no one else would fill up this bill. 50,000LL has to go to Elias Hrawi. He was our only president to get re-elected without the MP's going "Oops, we were just @#$%ing around." 20,000LL has to feature Fouad Chehab as 20,000 of his preteges went on to become presidents.

In the US the $1 bill is reserved for Washington, clearly the President with the best head of hair. If we follow the same logic, only Amine Gemayyel can be on the 1000LL note. Emile Lahoud gets the pink 5,000LL note, only because there isn't a glittery lilac silk one.

That leaves us with the 10,000 Liras: Orange numbers with a yellow background. I say we keep it vacant for the time being, there's a good chance someone would fit this bill sometime next year.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

And why only Maronites? Why not Sunnis and Shias and Druze too?

Kodder said...

I wonder if I should point out the obvious to the anonymous above me...or let it sink in for a while,maybe he can figure it out...

Anyway, funny post Jamal :)

Wallah el-2ouda b Alf Lira said...

put my donkey on the 1 lira, if it ever gets re-produced.

Anonymous said...

Kodder, ya lamba inta, why should we talk only of presidents not speakers of parliament or at least prime ministers.

You think you have the brain power to let that one sink ya abaday inta?

wallah el-2ouda b alf lira said...

la2inno ya ananamoos, el-ra2ees howwi kil shi, tarikhiyyan. akhassatan bi lubnan. wel-duwal el-tanyi mitl el-wilayat el-mutta7idah wal-duwal el-3arabiya el-mu3tadila sharran, wal-shirrira i3tidalan, ma bi7ottoo ru2asa2 el-wizara aw ru2asa2 majalis el-nowwab 3al-3imli. bi7ottoo faqat ru2asa2 el-jamhooriyyah, wal-mulook, wal-mutanabbi2oon, willi bi 2alhoo anfosahom. fahimta am lam tafham?

post script: hal yumkinuna wad3 al-ra2ees bashir el-jmayyel, almuntkhab 3ala el-dabbaba el-2osra2iliyya, wa ta7t 2amr musaddasat el-thobbat el-2isra2iliyyeen, 3ala el-3ashr 2roosh, itha 3adat wa tobi3at???????

M Bashir said...

"we produced the real idols who preached about false idols.
A very powerful statement!

fariq sariri said...

When Israel sheepishly and apologetically tries to explain why it is conducting some maneuvers on the Palestinian side of the border that it occupies, it is as she crapping in her pants! Some amounts of the feces that decend from its pant-crapping exit from the bottom of the pant leg and finds its way into the mouths of Israel’s men in Lebanon, namely the big J & J, who are not that big anyway, but also some lesser “men.”

does all this have anything to do with faces on money? maybe, maybe not, maybe indirectly.

Ibn Bint Jbeil said...

bashir who?
i don't know any bashir.

Ibn Bint Jbeil said...

(i meant bashir j., not out friend m. bashir, of course.)