Sunday, April 20, 2008

Valet Parking Part Deux

I have touched on the subject previously, but this is one topic in Lebanon around which many dissertations could be done. One could study the Freudian interpretation of the glee derived from the key tossing experience; or the statistical correlation between the time it takes a poser to get out of his or her street blocking car and the number of angry eyeballs in the cars behind him or her.
I don’t have the time or the knowhow to conduct scientific research on this phenomenon, but I do have an eye that spots potential case studies.

Case #1

Dunkin Donuts is an American franchise that sells fried dough and sugar. It has long been known as a favorite hangout of men in uniform out late at night to protect and serve. It also serves as a quick pit stop for commuters that are late for work and in need of cheap coffee and a cheaper heart clogging sinful treat.
The Sodeco Area of Beirut is smacked right in the middle of what formerly the dividing line between East and West Beirut. It was an area known for its legendary snipers, and thus the bullet poked fa├žade: a unique Beirut architectural style. Coffee there was a vital part of the survival kit back in these days under the snipe or be sniped theory.
The Dunkin Donuts at Damascus Road in the Sodeco Area of Beirut has Valet Parking.

Case #2

Lebanon has been suffering a massive brain drain since the opposition sit in started, or was it since the July war? The Hariri assassination? Since Hariri assumed power? Lausanne? 1982? April 13th? The Cairo accords? World War II? My great grandfather was in Cuba at the turn of the century so let’s just say that people have been fleeing this mountain range for a long, long time. A random sample of the youth would reveal that a good chunk of those leaving do so for the lack of money making job opportunities.
Forward Forum is a career fair that took place at BIEL this past weekend. Thousands of jobless youth flocked for a shot at a career that would keep them in the country. Careers that are unlikely to pay for mortgages, but at least they would cover their food; modest aspirations for college graduates.
Forward Forum had a Valet parking service that would save these 20 some year olds a walk of no more than 50 meters, yet hundreds of the job searchers opted to pay the extra fee for the luxury of just tossing the car key.


Tantalus said...

When you toss the keys to your fancy car to a random stranger, you are giving your prize possession to this stranger, regardless of his religion, sect, or political (or sexual) orientation. No?

So, maybe we should take this key-tossing business as a starting point for a more country-saving exchange of keys.

The first key to be tossed should be the key to parliament, no?

gallabeyyah said...

If I was dictator of Lebanon, I would ban valet parking, after bankrolling extensive academic research that proves the deep seeded evil that is embedded in this vile practice.

cousin bob said...

yes, the keys of parliament should be tossed. TOSSED INTO THE RUBBISH BIN! as well as the key to the serial and the presidential palace. why? why not!

Anonymous said...

Cousin bob you're absolutly right......and i agree totally on this blog.....As Dunkin Donuts,is a cheap coffee shop abroad,in a lebanon it's a luxury hang out,with parking valet and piss-like tasting coffee........

ahmad fouad najm w el-sheikh imam said...

homma ba3o el-gallabeyyah
w-el-watan w-el-.......ah

bech said...

there is probably 20 percent of the population working as "valet parkers". no? 20 percent parking another 10 percent of the population or something.