Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Por La Plata Baila El Mono

A Spanish saying that translates to: "For the Money, The Monkey Dances."

While many people fit the description, my monkey du jour is Hassan Sabra.

I saw the cover of his respected magazine today and he had Michel Aoun featured with a photoshopped Iranian flag patterned foulard draped around his neck. I guess the idea of Aoun being in bed with the Syrians didn't fly, so Sabra is resorting to the other "bo3"*. Apparently people don't forget 15 years of Syrian-enforced exile so easily. I mean what does it tell you when even Al-Shiraa readers don't believe the story?

But why is he a dancing monkey?

I remember Hassan Sabra of the early 90's; his son used to play soccer with us when the father performed his weekly pilgrimage to Chtaura. Actually, Junior broke his arm once and that was when I learned that when bones break, they actually break break. As in break in two pieces break. But enough with my childhood traumas.

My point is that Hassan Sabra used to have his tongue so far up Ghazi Kenaan's ass he could taste his lunch. Today he's a "courageous journalist." Who's fooling whom?

But dancing monkeys are not completely useless. You can always use them to gauge whose propaganda machine has the deepest pockets at any given time.

*The bo3 is the Lebanese version of the Chupacabras.

47 comments:

EDB said...

Excellent two posts, Jamal!
So far up his ass he could taste his lunch... yuck! That's a potent image, right there.

And forgive my ignorance, but what is Chupacabras?

EDB said...

Hey, am I the new "What is occupation?" I responded to your posts before anyone else. Where are you, oh "What is occupation"? Have you perhaps an occupation other than commenting on this blog, that is keeping you away in the post-ceasefire era? You mean they stopped paying you to post comments here?

Sorry about that. Back to washing dishes as your primary occupation, I guess. Except for that one month of every year that you get to be an integral clog in the other, grander occupation... Tearing up ID cards and rifle-butting children at checkpoints tops the list of "occupations", doesn't it?

hillz said...

jamal,

Sabra is fun especially during the elections period.

I wonder if he share 14 march their unstopping praises for Berri. Oh well, I forgot, hussein Yateem is no more a candidate. It works.

Jamal said...

Hey E,

the paid-for-comments visitors only show up when certain key words appear in the post. see it's that megaphone software that brings them here.
You don't know the chupacabra? it's the puertorrican "bo3"

Maya said...

Jamal, I am sure there are a lot of Hassan Sabras... they can almost create a blogging community on their own

Stan said...

I used to play soccer with his son too.
Do I know you?

What is "Occupation" said...

EDB said...
Hey, am I the new "What is occupation?" I responded to your posts before anyone else. Where are you, oh "What is occupation"? Have you perhaps an occupation other than commenting on this blog, that is keeping you away in the post-ceasefire era? You mean they stopped paying you to post comments here?


no, i have nothing to add to the post jamal has made, i unlike some do not post just for the sake of seeing my name.

Maya@NYC said...

the "propaganda" the blue movement has been carrying against the orange movement is just black as dirt! (and vice versa)

EDB said...

No, of course not. And "what is occupation" is not your name, I assume, for who would be so cruel to name their child a rhetorical question, right? It must be, rather, "Vatisokupaishon", which no one would write just for the sake of seeing it in print.
Wow, Vatisokupaischon, you are indeed completely humorless. But thanks for responding even though you have "nothing to add". I take it you're area of expertise is limited to water and other resources; not internal Lebanese politics. You are what we call in English a "waterboy".

I'll let you in on a little secret: you never have anything to add. But you are truly gifted at copying and pasting comments. Now there's a future occupation for you. I'll write you a recommendation, should you need it. But I'm sure there's ample evidence in the Lebanese blogosphere that testifies to your unusual talent.
(Sorry, J., for hijacking the comments for my personal vendetta.)

What is "Occupation" said...

edj,

I'll let you in on a secret...

I could give a shit about your opinion of me...

Kodder said...

good good posts jamal :)
sorry for disappearing for the last week or so :)
I was busy :).
I see Mr. "occupation"'s only entertainement is coming here and reading your blog.
I see that he has a really interesting life.

1)wake up in the morning.
2)do the daily hygiene stuff (maybe)
3)turn on the computer.
4)see jamal's blog
5)say something completely irrelevant of the what the post is saying.
6)wait for some insults
7)enjoy the insults (his main sexual gratification, not mentionning the daily ass rapes)
8)reply back, with the same excuses since day 1 of the war.
9)then if its not after 3 am go back to step 5, otherwise continue.
10) turn off pc
11) bend over for final ass rape from his wife.
12) sleep on the floor crying.

and repeat daily :).

I wonder how fast he will reply to this comment... guessing a max of 20 mins.

vatisokupayshon said...

Kodder,

Kodder said...
2)do the daily hygiene stuff (maybe)
11) bend over for final ass rape from his wife.

You think your so funny. Hahaha. Next time I'll tell the IDF to bomb you since you think you're so funny. Let's see if you're still so funny then. Hahaha.
My wife does not rape me, nor do I do daily hygiene stuff. What is daily hygiene?
Maybe I will change my username to Whatisdailyhygiene...

No, my wife is very nice; I don't care what you think of her. She makes very good gefilte fisch. She fills it with all kinds of things-- mostly cluster bombs and lots of WATER.
G-d damn I'm thirsty. I must go to drink WATER now.

Kodder said...

That is one of the funniest replies ever :P.

What is "Occupation" said...

kodder,

your posts betray who you are, what you think of, and of course your mind set.

Actually your posts explain why there are problems to real peace.

Keep spewing, you just paint a picture of yourself not me for all the world to see.

congrats

Kodder said...

lol.
so tell me who am I?
a pervert ? I never hid that, everyone knows that from day one :P.
what are you? a criminal? everyone knows that from day one too :P.

vatisokupayshon said...

Kodder,

I've had just about enough of you. What is "criminal"? Is it "criminal" to bomb for peace? Is it "criminal" to be thirsty? To want water? To bomb civilian convoys? To fire at UN peacekeepers? To use white phosphorous and carpet civilian areas with cluster bombs? To destroy civilian infrastructure? Target ambulances? What is "CRIMINAL"?!? Who decides? Where do we draw the boundary?

What is "pervert"? What is "lol"?
Speak English dammit.

You know, Kodder. I studied philosophy at Gefiltefish University. That's why I ask so many G-d damn senseless questions...

Charles Malik said...

Kodder,

I'll tell you for a fact (and I'm sure Hassan and Nour will, as well) that you are 100% most definitely a pervert. :p

But we admire that about you. You're the only openly perverted person we know in Lebanon. It makes for fun conversation at Friday's. :)

Kodder said...

hehehe vati :)

:P charles malik. thankies :).

شهرزاد Shahrazad said...

"What is BS"

Do you ever get tired?!?!

Black Dog Brigade said...

Just some humor
ahmadinejad is a movie star

Kodder said...

the others are waiting israely and american apologies to arabs first.
:).

What is "Occupation" said...

dear arabs,

we so sorry to allow you to expel us in 622 AD from arabia.

Maybe the arab world needs to stop stealing lands that are not theirs?

Let's start with arabia

Kodder said...

Dear Occupation.
I am so sorry that you pretend to know your religion, since your religion itself
says that you should be exiled all over the world.
go fight with your G-d, instead of blaming arabs.
thank you.

Kodder said...

Dear occupation
I am interested in adding you on msn messenger.
the frequency of the comments are getting slower and slower.
I need live action.
please email me with your msn messenger addy on my email that is found on my profile.
thank you.

What is "Occupation" said...

kodder states: Dear Occupation.
I am so sorry that you pretend to know your religion, since your religion itself
says that you should be exiled all over the world.

so how does this allow islam and mohammed to rape, murder and drive us out of ARABIA? the passage of being all over the world does not entitled others to steal, murder and destroy us.

arabia is not the promised land, it's land where "arabs" come from

the point was and is, the arabs stole the lands of arabia from the jews (and others), they also enslaved, murdered and raped them..

i think the arab world OWES the jews an apology 1st to right this wrong in 629.

Kodder said...

so to correct something "wrong".
you do worse, kill, rape and kick people out after more than 2000 years.
and you should anyway check the history well to really see who kicked jews out.
its not the arabs who kicked jews out, its the romans.
"Defeats in the Jewish-Roman Wars in the years 70 CE and 135 notably contributed to the numbers and geography of the diaspora, as significant numbers of the Jewish population of the Land of Israel were expelled and sold to slavery throughout the empire."
taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jews
so you now need to appologies for blaming and killing the wrong people.
but of course you will search the whole history for hours just to find a confrotation between jews and muslims, so you take it as an example of the reason you hate arabs and muslims.

How long have you been living in israel Mr "occupation", and I mean you as a person.

Kodder said...

oh btw.
just saw the megaphone website, its amazing that they actually teach you the point that you should argue about in the forums.
since a big portion of israelies were living all their lives around the world and just recently moved in to israel and made it "their" country.
they know nothing about their history, they just know what the governments tells them to say and tells how to think.
you should check what left wing jews are saying, they are giving the reason why settlers hate jews that much.
blame your government not arabs.
check it and read (but of course you wont read it). http://www.left-wing.net/news/settlers.htm

Kodder said...

I mean hate arabs.

What is "Occupation" said...

again:
What is "Occupation" said...
kodder states: Dear Occupation.
I am so sorry that you pretend to know your religion, since your religion itself
says that you should be exiled all over the world.

so how does this allow islam and mohammed to rape, murder and drive us out of ARABIA? the passage of being all over the world does not entitled others to steal, murder and destroy us.

arabia is not the promised land, it's land where "arabs" come from

the point was and is, the arabs stole the lands of arabia from the jews (and others), they also enslaved, murdered and raped them..

i think the arab world OWES the jews an apology 1st to right this wrong in 629.

I am talking about arabia...

the romans did not kick out the jews from arabia... mohammed did...

as for the palestinians, or as I call them, the fake people palestine..

25% of israel is arab... over a MILLION palestinians LIVE in israel, and if you count the west bank and gaza, there are another couple MILLION palestinians living on disputed lands.

now the peaceful arab 21 nations have expelled the 900k of jews living in those lands, THEY have resettled in historic Jewish land.

as for rape and murder, i guess you ignore the 1922 arab riots of hebron as well?

Kodder said...

its amazing how you choose to just ignore what you want.
and its amazing how you compare irrelevant stuff.
its amazing how you compare 1 riot in 1922 with 70 years of rape and murders from israelies.
and its amazing how when you state your "truths" you never back them up by any articles.
Neutral articles that is.from encyclopedias that is (more or less neutral anyway).
so tell me Mr occupation, if ARABS stole the land of ARABIA from the jews, where were they living before?
arabs... arabia... does it ring a bell
(sarcasm)
arabs were in fact europeans
(end of sarcasm)
no more megaphone taught excuses?

What is "Occupation" said...

tell me oh wise one..

how many people have been raped and murdered by israelis?

please list numbers..

i bet more were murdered in your civil war (44,000) than israel ever killed

i bet more were murdered in hama

i bet more were murdered by saddam in kurdistan

the truth? israel has not killed anywhere near what the arabs do to themselves.

but back to the BEGINING

the jews of arabia had JUST AS MUCH RIGHT to live there as the arabs.

remember one father 2 kids?

Kodder said...

so oh wise one.
go ahead and list your numbers yourself.
oh and you still didnt show me any historical proof not a single article from an encyclopedia
backing up what ever you say.
I usually give you all the proof you need, not from arabs, not from encyclopedias, but your fellow jews.
so why each time I show you an interesting site, you choose to not read it, change the subject and say the same excuses again and again and again?

oh btw...
I think this answers your stupid argument that the prophet mohammad expelled jews out of arabia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_and_Judaism

but of course you wont bother to read it.
and you will ignore, change the suject and choose something else to fight on.

Kodder said...

oh forgot to say...
of course from all the site, you will choose (if you read it) to go down to the conflicts part.
but then your invention that Mohamad himself kicked jews out wont stand a point anymore.
:P

What is "Occupation" said...

Dear Mr Kodder,

I get it!

The arabs are an opressed, victimized, weak people!

i am sorry for all we have done to the weak peoples of the arab world. But too bad.

From here on out, I will advocate no more talk, just bombs..

Is this your point?

What is "Occupation" said...

dear mr kodder,

how goes your city?

how is the rubble, getting cleaned up I hope?

How is that fun loving warriors "hez'bollah" doing?

Wanted to tell you that your heros, the "fake people palestine" are still trying to murder us, no suprise I am sure, but did ya know that more of them have been killed by each other in the last 10 yrs than we've been able to kill.

we suck at killing, i am advocating the IDF to study how arabs kill one another, like your civil war to learn effective ways to kill.

The lessons of your civil war is that 44,000 dead is nothing to you all. after all who cares about 44 thousand dead when israel killed 1500!

ok kodder that's all for now, i am going back to google gps to look for lovely sites to bomb...

happy?

Kodder said...

LOL mr "occupation"
did I struck a senstive nerv?
of course I did, because you couldn't admit or even read any of the sites that I gave you.
and you still compare the same numbers of 15 years of civial war with 1 month of israely war.
poor you.
no giyus.org excuses anymore right?

What is "Occupation" said...

nope why waste time ...

your people murdered 44 thousand people in your civil war, REGARDLESS of the time period.

you are hung up on the fact that Jews killed Lebanese Nazis..

too bad..

think of it... these innocent lebanese supporters of hezbollah..

or as the world sees it...the bastard childred of the nazis..

really? who cares? the MILLION innocent lebanese left, what was left was Hezbollah scum

so in the end your people murdered 44,000 and wounded 200,000 and you bitch because israel "lost" and killed 1000 nazis lebanese "civilians"

too bad.

next time hezbollah invades israel expect more damage and death, oh that's right hezbollah won!

What is "Occupation" said...

dear Mr kodder,

remember those 2 israelis that lebanon (hezbollah) kidnapped?

are they still alive?

Why will lebanon not allow the red cross to visit?

Remember what started the war? the invasion of israel by lebonese troops aka hezbollah..

i personally think the israelis were murdered, i have no doubt there are no "geneva convention" rights to kidnapped israelis....

great country ya got there pal...

linalone said...

"My point is that Hassan Sabra used to have his tongue so far up Ghazi Kenaan's ass he could taste his lunch. Today he's a "courageous journalist." Who's fooling whom?"
Fi metlo w amtelo ktir bi bal balad, kif ma baramet btetfachkal bi we7id mennoun....

Kodder said...

Geneva convetion allows miltary against military actions.
what doesnt allow is destroying homes on top of children.
lost that argument again Mr Occupation.
and Finally you said Mr to me, its about time you show me a bit of respect that I was showing you for weeks by adding the Mr.hehe.

What is "Occupation" said...

Geneva convetion allows miltary against military actions.
what doesnt allow is destroying homes on top of children.
lost that argument again Mr Occupation.

actually the geneva convention states clearly, those that put weapons in civilian areas are the guilty parties if those civilians are killed or harmed.

hezbollah by building bunkers and rocket launchers in HOMES has violated the convention, as well as not wearing uniforms, as well as TARGETING civilians in israel, as well as not allowing access to prisoners.

again, israel is within the actual tenets of the geneva convention in bombing homes USED as military bases.

go back to school, do a little learning..

the geneva convention DOES NOT ALLOW CIVILIAN AREAS to be USED as MILITARY BASES, and if they DO, they are RESPONSIBLE for any and ALL deaths.

sorry once again your fiction does not fit fact...

secular-arab said...

what is occupation, i read your comments.

you might want to watch this film in its entirety. it deconstructs israeli respect for geneva conventions.

go to google video and do a search for:
"people and the land"


and do you really really want to open the book on israeli violations of the geneva conventions and the laws of war against lebanon??

What is "Occupation" said...

secular,

i just would love israel to act as the arabs act..

how about that?

but the point of the conversation was and is...

hezbolah using homes as military bases caused them to be destroyed.

can i get an amen?

no?

ok...

since the PLO & hezbolah are not signers of the geneva convention what is the point?

Kodder said...

The point that israel is...
and funny thing about hezbollah using homes as military bases.
I wonder how can they pull a katyusha truck and put it on the balcony.
dude... occupation for the millionth time, back up what you say by articles, specially PICTURES from neutral places.
but of course you just want to bark random words.
boring...
I bet you never went to university, because in university they teach that you have to BACK up your theories.

What is "Occupation" said...

kodder,

drag your lazy ass to the place called google and type in geneva convention.

if you took one moment away from your self gratifying pleasures and actually attempted to learn something about the geneva conventions it would make you learn something.

you cannot hide, house or arm civilian homes in war, if you do, they loose all protection under the geneva convention and MAY BE BOMBED.

if you doubt hezbollah hides in houses your on crack..

Kodder said...

lol.
I didnt want from you the details of geneva convention.
I wanted from you proof that hezbollah hides in houses.
so instead of giving me proof... you said i am on crack.
congragulations on your amazing debate Occupation :).

What is "Occupation" said...

why bother trying to explain how hezbollah has built rockets into houses.

you most likely believe the earth is flat also....

where do you think hezbollah was? in army bases?

dont you even read your own press?

just where do you think those 13,000 rockets were hid?

just where do you think those hezbollah fighters LIVED?

Just where do you think they are holding the israeli kidnap victims?

in legal army locations?