Thursday, February 16, 2006

Horoscope

In Lebanon, all respectable publications look to the planets for analysis and forecasts. Since I'm hoping one day to get a whiff of respect, I will start consulting the stars and publish what they shoot me.

Virgo: Don't worry! No one knows about the hymen reconstruction you had.

Scorpio: Aquarius is playing hard to get. Don't take no for an answer. Persistance pays off.

Polio: You feel left out because Bird Flu is getting all the attention. Some jealousy is good for you.

Leo: You're too sweet compared to Kit Kat. But some people love you for what you have inside.

Cancer: You will see everything around you in fluorescent colors.

Aquarius: Scorpio will stalk you. My bad. Sorry.

Taurus: There is a Rash on Uranus. It's Hemorrhoids.

Rhombus: Today you might not feel very equilateral. Just have some Baklava.

I think I've covered them all.

6 comments:

Fouad said...

What about Libra? 1500 Libra, one dollar :)

Anonymous said...

Siskel and Ebert give you 12 thumbs up

Eve said...

Should a Leo feel relieved when reading that :p ?

jimmy said...

man you made my morning :D

Anonymous said...

and thanks for blabbing about the hymen reconstruction! great! my girlfriend is going to dump me now.

Leilouta said...

Gemini?