Thursday, April 27, 2006

Just Park it There- Volume One


When the City has to line all its sidewalks with enforced metal khazouks to keep cars from parking over people, then you can pretty much say we have sort of a parking problem.

If you are lucky enough to find a curbside parking spot, do not make the amateur mistake of parking there. You will be punished for your legal parking job by getting double parked in for days. Double parking is culturally accepted, however if you triple park you become a moral-less animal who parks in the middle of the road.

Parking in the middle of the road is also an option, but in that case you must keep the flashers on. Otherwise you might unearth one of Lebanon's hidden rare historic artifacts, a parking ticket.

There is always the option of paying for parking. Beirut Parking lot management is an artform. You need genetic giftedness and years of experience to be able to squeeze the largest number of cars in your alotted area. Physics and geometry laws are out the window when you hear the phrase "Leave the keys in it." Don't panic if you come back to see your car burried in the back of the lot with tens of cars blocking it. A good Beiruti Lot Attendant will get it out with a maximum of two moves. That performance is a joy to watch.

7 comments:

Abu Kais said...

I look forward to Vol II: "Cherie, where did he valet-park my Hummer?"

Anonymous said...

Hey, not to belittle beiruti parking woes, but at least it's not $20 for half an hr like NYC. That, my friend is a khazouk.

BOB said...

man you forgot all about the valet parking...
even universties have them now...
and sometimes so do lose the cars...

Jamal said...

Bob- While i certainly am not infallible, i did label this volume one because i know there is lot more about Parking here to be discussed. Abu Kais gave a good sneak preview of the sequel.

Anonymous said...

Very nice! I found a place where you can
make some nice extra cash secret shopping. Just go to the site below
and put in your zip to see what's available in your area.
I made over $900 last month having fun!

make extra money

Zanzounito said...

ahh...i have a sudden nostalgia to experience the woes of parking..yareet

Expat in Beirut said...

I told the concierge in my building that parking costs in my home country can run to $50USD a day, and now he wants to move there and open a carpark!