Sunday, April 30, 2006

The Land of Free Advice

No wonder the Consulting job market is dead for the most part in this country. Why would anyone want to pay for advice when millions of people throw it at you for free whether you ask for it or not. There are exceptions of course, those being consulting the Dead and the Stars. Those are never free. Understandable though, even in Lebanon we do appreciate the difficulty of acquiring supernatural skills.

Here is a sample list of unsolicited advice I personally got granted today.

"You should get Married soon."

"Enjoy your youth, once you get married your life is no longer yours."

"Move to Dubai."

"Don't move to Dubai. Move to Europe."

"You shouldn't have left Miami in the first place."

"You should do such and such in this empty space."

"You should go see 50 Cent."

"It's hot! You should go to the beach next weekend."

... and the best part is you are not allowed any input. Any attempt at a "But...", Is quickly put down with a "No, You MUST."

You must.

13 comments:

Mustapha said...

Add one to your unsolicited advices:
You should write more

Dr Victorino de la Vega said...

Jamie,
I simply can’t believe you left south Florida and its generously-breasted mulatto mamacitas for Beirut!
Are you into S&M (presumably more into the latter) or something?

ghassan said...

It must be something in the air that we breath as soon as we are born. We i.e. the Lebanese, go through life refusing any advice from anyone because we are experts on everything:-)

Vic,
I would have never expected that remark from you LOL.

laila said...

Tell me about it!

AbdulKarim said...

Forget Dubai, Europe man!

Sietske in Beiroet said...

Totally. You must go to 50 cents, and to the beach as well. And you must write more as well.

Doha said...

You forgot, "You should marry so and so (from the same day3ah, or the same family, or the same sect, or the same neighborhood, or the same region, or the same religion, etc....)"

أمل said...

but why isnt anyone happy if everyone knows whats best for everyone?

Zahia said...

well.. i would suggest listening to 50 cents whilst on the beach and writing some new posts.. All that happening in Miami, with your lovely wife who would be born in Dubai (and of course would be pregnant since you SHOULD have children).. by the way, do you have any advice for a new visitor of your blog?? i am desperate for one!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ok, here's more advice..

Don't move to Dubai. Unless you want the headache of traffic that would give NY a run for its money. And rent that will leave you penniless until your next paycheck..

Then again, maybe you enjoy the choking heat of the summer days? :)


~Pamela

Jamal said...

Mus- Sir Yes Sir :)

Dr. Vic- Zwen Bledak wla El 'am7 El Salibi.

Ghas- off course, the only reason we even look at other people's ideas is to put them down.

Laila- You should pour that tube on your right over that dish on your left.

AK- how about good ole Beirut?

Sietske- I got my VVIP tickets in hand.

Doha- and you must "Veil" her after the wedding.

Amal- Well, if happiness is the competition du jour, then everyone becomes happier than the other.

Zahia- Thanks for visiting, come back, and also get married and move to Dubai.

Pamela- Nothing and No one wil or can move me from Beirut :o) Khallas Shloushi ingharazit bi zift hal balad.

Laila said...

Here in Iran when a young man (or woman) reaches to mid 20s, he is said:" It's the time! Don't you want to marry?....I know a good girl..".Then when married, he is said:" What's the joy of being just with your wife? Don't you want a kid? Ah, they are the juice of life......", Then when had a kid, he is said:" Come on, one kid is just for spoiling. He/she is 4 years old already, try for the second.", and when the second pops up, the people will encourage to have the third. And finally when the third comes up, the people begin to whisper behid him:"Oh, are they chicken-producing factory? Three kids?! Too much........"

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