Lebanese Sausage Fest - Day 1

Where are the women at?

What sort of national dialogue excludes half of the nation?

You want to hear something funny? Technically, the person representing me at the round table is Elie Skaff.
I can rest assured my voice(well, an incomprehensible mumbling noise) will be heard.

In 2 or 3 days, this conference will be declared a success by most because they will name who will be democratically elected as President, they will declare Syria a friend, and Israel an enemy.
"مطرح ما خري شنقوه" I'm not sure this saying makes any logical sense, but I feel it fits this situation.

Here are questions that should be on the agenda but aren't:

• Isteez, Thanks for hosting this event, You da man. Now where was the South Council's money spent? Oh, you spent it under duress from a Randa just like some people were coerced to vote a certain way. Ok, that's fair.
• Hajj, how will Beirut 1 save us, throw me some figures, I'm pretty good with numbers? The government should handle it behind closed doors, because you don't want to burden the people with more financial worries than they already have. How noble.
• Mahsoubak, the slogans are all nice and pretty, but what is your strategic plan? Lebanon First, Lebanon First, Lebanon First.
• Sayyed, what do you have against Dabke and Fayrouz? So fighting Zionsim and Imperialism is a priority, but why do we all have to wear black.
• General, you are accused of being stubborn, can you accept compromise? As long as it is like the Pierre Dakkash compromise.
• Beik, smoke, snort, or shoot? All of the above, that explains a lot.
• Doc, Why is the presidency yours? Sorry, put your gun down, I was just kidding.
• Sheikh, Why is the presidency yours? Yeah, I think it's pretty clear you kiss everyone's cheeks.
• Mr. President, your presidential term between 1982 and 1988 was one of the worst 6 year stretches in the history of Lebanon, aren't you ashamed to show your face? No.
• Mr. Tuweini, Mr. Tuweini, Mr. Tuweini!
• Agop, I know there is no gender differentiation in the Armenian language, but how hard is it to call a dude a dude , and a chick a chick? You do it on purpose just to fuck with people. I like it.
• Mr. Murr, Mr. Safadi, and Mr. Saad, you know you're just here to make the table look full?
• Mr. Skaff, can you spell CAT? ooooh, so close.