Thursday, June 29, 2006

National Sausage Fest Day 500

As I type this Elie Skaff and friends are once again meeting to discuss a defense strategy against summer season bugs and mosquitoes. Don't you hate it when you're enjoying a day on the beach and a zionist dragonfly dives into your mojito? That won't happen anymore if Elie Skaff gets his way today in session #500 of the national dialogue.

Today also marks 500 days of searching for the Truth. Well 500 days of searching for justice since the Truth has been known since day 1: Rafiq Hariri committed suicide.

Beirut was ranked as the 32nd most expensive city in the world this year, yet I see a lot of "Bas 500LL" shops around town. I wonder what can you find at these shops. Are they just stocked with gum and Bonjus?

500LL is the bus fare, but beware of being spotted in a bus. It's social suicide; you'd be permanently blacklisted at Crystal.

500 Palestinians will be crushed under 500 tanks in the next week. 500 people worldwide will notice, the rest are busy watching the World Cup.

500 also happens to be the average temperature in Beirut these days. It's Graduation season these days, so every day 500 Lebanese people get in line to apply for visas. $500 is the average airfare they'd have to pay.

Yalla off to work now. "500 kirmal allah bas 500."

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

We will also have 500 less German and French flags!

euroarabe said...

good one

Kodder said...

so you found a job?

Expat in Beirut said...

And 500 minutes was how long it took me at the Port today to get my friends new car released.....

Bashir said...

:/

Anonymous said...

500 Palestinians were (and still are) shooting 500 qassams on sderot and whining that the Israelis are evil.
500,000 Arab net surfers curse Israelis but won't stand 0.5 Palestinians with them in the same "servis".
500 Iraqis will be murdered in Iraq in the next month by your brave-sunni-freedom-fighter-brothers, some of them in 5-50 mosques...

Anonymous said...

"your brave-sunni-freedom-fighter-brothers"

Jamal, it's true. Your blog is nothing more than a mouthpiece for bin Laden. All this talk of mojitos and sex is merely a cover for your Islamofacism apologetics.

Laila said...

to the nameless faceless identityless 'anonymous': And the same number as the Arab surfers, it is from Zionist circles whining about Holocaust happening some 50 (plus 10) years ago trying to justify the killings of innocent people (Olmert has expressed his 'very very sorry'iness just recently because of one of the recent ones) in the occupied territories whether it is by the efforts of snipers, or direct shootings, or air raids or bulldozingng the houses over the residents. The same circles deafening our ears by their claims of residing in the region some 5000 years ago, now trying to pour everyone else beside themselves into the sea or kicking their ass out to other Arab countries……..

Kodder said...

I don't know what to think about israelies and palestinians anymore.
Israelies are ruthless murderers, that we all know about.(as a goveerment eh?)
about palestenians...when they were given the chance to start forming something that can represent them politically, Fateh and Hamas started fighting...
Bleh...

Anonymous said...

Anon: "by your brave-sunni-freedom-fighter-brothers"

I didn't know us Lebanese are now all classified as sunni-freedom-fighter-brothers...this was such a fun post before the first anon came along!

Jamal--how dare you use Islamic extremism in your post!

Israeli said...

Oh yeah, definately "ruthless murderers"..
Isn't it some of Lebanon's leaders and ex-leaders that murdered thousands of people from opposite sects? (not to speak of the Palis- if you forgot Damur, just as an example) or is it to blame the zionists as well?

same Israeli said...

and BTW, I really don't understand what the holocaust has to do with it. The Palis shoot missiles on us and kidnap a soldier, yell at TV "we are strong bla bla bla" and when we show them they aren't SO successful, then we are criminals....so THIS is whinig for you.

Anonymous said...

Imagine what 500 successful expatriate Lebanese could do to reorganise and retsrtucture Lebanon into a civilised country that respects its own people, concentrating on creating wealth and prosperity, insread of encouraging them to leave the country in search of greener pastures. Really all this politics sucks big time! Lets all make honest hard working money and live in peace!