Thursday, June 08, 2006

National Sausage Fest – Episode June

This promises to be the hottest session yet. While outdoors it will surely eclipse 30 degrees, the heat index will easily trump that mark inside the Parliament building.

Spoiler Alert: I watched a sneak peak and here's what will happen. If you don't want to know how it ends and would like to see it for yourself tomorrow skip the rest of this post.
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The first scene shows everyone except Hassan Nasrallah walking into the building, looking to their left, and waving at the cameras. Everyone wonders if Hassan Nasrallah is actually coming.

Once inside they find Nasrallah is already at the table, so the first dramatic instant ends uneventfully. Then the media comes inside for photo ops, hypocrisy, smiles, hypocrisy, handshakes, and more hypocrisy. You wonder who's the bad guy and who's the hero. Could they all be bad? No,can't be! Impossible! There must be a hero. Of course there is one but we don't know it yet; it's Elie Skaff.

Amin Gemayel speaks first asking the dialoguers to declare June 1st Sheikh Sami's Day commemorating Sheikh Sami's heroic battle to save Crystal. Here Saad's eyes tear up, reminiscing about his pony-tailed-Blue-Label-chugging days at Crystal. It's not easy being a Zaeem.

Then it was on to the arms. Saad dared Jumblatt to arm wrestle Nasrallah. Jumblatt dog dared Geagea to do it. Geagea double dog dared Saad. Saad triple dog dared Jumblatt. Jumblatt triple black dog dared Geagea. Well that cycle kept going for 3 hours when the bell rang sending everyone home.

Teacher Berri then comes out and says that it was a very productive, honest, sincere, and fun session. So much fun that they'll do this one more time in July, one week after a controversial protest or a riot that puts the country again on the brink of war.

4 comments:

Eve said...

can't wait for the next episode, let's say: in a couple of months?

2:30? I see blogger gave you a hard time :)

linalone said...

3ajabetne ossit el Sheikh Sami....

Kodder said...

hahaha this is funny.

Expat in Beirut said...

Funny, I hear it went something like this....

Jumblatt, Saad "oh bearded one, please, please give up your weapons!"
Nasrallah "no"
Berri "Ok, thanks for comming everyone. Sesssion over"

And they then proceeded to play texas hold-em for the rest of the day.

But my source could be wrong......