Lebanese Mating Season runs from late April until mid September, Thursday through Sunday of each week. The April early birds are those who make the decision to get hitched in winter but courteously wait for the felines to be done. Plus what kind of future would await a couple that doesn’t ride in a convertible during their wedding day honking motorcade? The September weddings are for the desperate. Those have definitely settled for their 10th choice at best.
A Lebanese wedding is more like a Bride’s obstacle course. The first challenge for a Bride-to-be is when a Suitable Suitor shows up, she has to drop everything (Studies, Boyfriends, etc…). If she fails this test, she’d be forever labeled as a Mfazlakeh.
Then comes “The Test” which all girls pass of course due to modern medical advances . Every thing else becomes secondary. Unless the suitable suitor is of a different suit. In that case the festivities get moved to Cyprus and some family members might bless the unholy union with Death Threats. Otherwise we’re good to go for the Wedding Day.
Fitting into the dress is a universal challenge, but the first big test on the Lebanese Wedding day is sticking the dough. A Bride must stick a piece of dough on the door of her house-to-be. That might sound easy, but she must do it while being carried on the shoulders of the groom and the perverted uncle who offers to help just so he can get an ass grab. If she fails then “Thanks for coming” the wedding is off.; no pressure.
Dough sticks? Then proceed with “I Do”s and the "Wililililililililiiish"s.
The make up challenge is the toughest of them all , no Lebanese Bride has been able to pass this test in the presence of Grandmothers. This one is not a deal breaker though.
After the reception, there is one more obstacle. Just when the bride thinks it’s all over and she’s finally going to get some , she is paraded around town in a loud scandalous honking motorcade to let everyone know someone is getting laid tonight.